Search Results for "saving & investment"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #saving & investment

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #saving & investment, #death & dying, #wills

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I took the liberty of updating your estate plan. Dilbert: This gives you a powerful incentive to kill me so you can inherit my stuff. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, that option has always been on the table.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #groceries & grocery stores, #saving & investment, #natural disasters

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm preparing for the complete meltdown of our financial system. I've got six months of food and water. I have batteries, flashlights, and gold coins. Alice: I'm prepare too. I have your home address. And I noticed that your preparations are light on defensive weaponry. Can you add some protein bars to the shopping list?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #saving & investment, #stock market

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I have an MBA and yet I keep losing money in the stock market. How can this be? Boss: I put all of my money in gold because it's shiny. My portfolio doubled last year. I'm thinking of getting an MBA. How long does it take? A week?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #saving & investment, #raises, #debt crisis, #economic uncertainty, #board of directors, #stock options

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because the Elbonian debt crisis has created economic uncertainty. Luckily for us, our board of directors granted our CEO more stock options so he won't leave during uncertain times. Dilbert: What happens when the uncertainty ends? Boss: Then he'll exercise stock options.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #prosperity, #saving & investment, #portfolio, #standard industry, #investing, #billion dollars, #index funds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll manage your portfolio for a standard industry fee of 1% per year. Wally: I'm investing a billion dollars. Your fee would be $10 million per year. Dogbert: Those index funds aren't going to pick themselves.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #saving & investment, #bad idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the financial adviser Dogbert: You should invest all of your money is diseased livestock. It would be unwise to invest in one sick cow, but if you aggregate a bunch of them together the risk goes away. It's called math. The boss: Suddenly I feel all savvy.