Search Results for "sink attaches to body"
Share May 24, 2010's comic on:
Wally says, "I invented a sink that attaches to my body. The faucet is activated by your voice." The Boss says, "Wally, what possible use could this stupid thing have? I need you to do some real work." Wally says, "What? I can't hear you when the water is running!"
Share December 17, 2016's comic on:
Alice: I thought you got arrested for killing the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: Almost. They arrested my body double. Alice: Why do you have a body double? Asok: It's for situations like this.
Share August 07, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...
Share January 19, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.
Share November 09, 2011's comic on:
Ted: Hey, Alice! Did you hear about my big promotion? Alice: Congratulations, Ted. I'm not jealous at all. Keep up the good work. Sorry about my face. I haven't mastered the art of full-body lying.
Share December 09, 2011's comic on:
Share January 06, 1996's comic on:
The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."
Share January 08, 1996's comic on:
The caption says, "Performance Review." Alice sits across from Ted's desk. Ted reads a document and says, "Your engineering work was excellent, Alice. But there was the little incident where you . . ." Ted stands, revealing a devil's tail, and screams, "Shoved me down a flight of stairs and killed me, thus inviting the forces of darkness to possess my body!!!" Alice holds up a crucifix and yells, "Back!" Dilbert sees Alice walking out of Ted's office and asks, "How'd it go?" Alice replies, "I swear, this job is all politics."
Share April 22, 1996's comic on:
Wally sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "Wally, it might not seem fair that new employees are paid more than you . . ." Catbert continues, "But you could always quit and then reapply for your old job at a higher salary." Wally says angrily, "I just might do that!!" Catbert says, "Would you mind rubbing this catnip all over your body first?"
Share August 16, 1996's comic on:
Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and Dogbert sits on the desk. Dogbert says, "The company won't lay you off if enough people quit first." Dogbert continues, "Your best strategy is to convince your co-workers that their jobs are intolerable." Wally shines a flashlight on Asok and points a video camera at him. Wally says, "We do this for all the young employees, Asok. I'll capture the exact moment that your life force leaves your body."