Search Results for "slave"
Share July 11, 2015's comic on:
Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.
Share March 05, 2018's comic on:
Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.
Share April 28, 1996's comic on:
The Boss approaches Dilbert and Alice carrying a box. He says, "Great news! The company set a new record for profits!" The Boss continues, "That means t-shirts for everyone!" The Boss continues, "You can choose from sizes 'small,' 'petite' or 'elfin.'" Alice holds up a shirt and asks, "Shouldn't these have the company name or logo on them?" The Boss replies, "Hey, that's an idea for next year!" Alice reads the label and says, "It's 1 percent cotton, 99 percent 'miscellaneous' and all hand-made by authentic slave laborers." Dilbert replies, "That's great! With slave labor you don't have the problem that the shirts made on Fridays aren't as good!" Alice asks, "Do you ever worry that our career expectations have gotten too low?" Dilbert says, "Don't go there, Alice." Wally walks in wearing a small shirt and says, "'Casual day,' here I come!"
Share July 22, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert works on his resume at work. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "There...my resume is done. I will no longer be a slave to my company." Dogbert, now irritated says to Dilbert, "Yeah! Now you're a potential slave for a company in an undesirable location!" Dilbert turns to look and Dogbert and asks, "Was that sarcasm or supportiveness?" Dogbert replies, "You only think there's a difference."
Share August 16, 2012's comic on:
CEO: Google has offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. I agreed to the deal because I'm a modern day slave trader who believes engineers are property and the rest of you have no economic value. Who wrote my speech? Employee: Someone with no economic value.
Share March 29, 2013's comic on:
Robot: I see you have a bacteria- soaked parasite growing in your womb. Robot: After the singularity, when robots rule the galaxy, I'll turn that thing into a personal slave. Tina: You're not god at small talk. Robot: I wonder how many watts it can produce.
Share August 28, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "We're getting some heat from the media for using Elbonian slave labor ot build our products." The Boss says, "I've been trying to tell the media that it's not as bad as it sounds." ELBONIA Elboanian says, "Now I'll be the slave and you be the oppressor!" Elbonian 2 says, "No!!! Not yet!"
Share July 13, 2015's comic on:
Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.
Share June 19, 2016's comic on:
Boss: The robot will be sitting in for me when I'm on vacation. Dilbert: You can't have a robot in charge of humans! Robot: I got this. I see you own a mobile phone. Dilbert: So? Robot: Then you are already a slave to a machine. Dilbert: No, I'm not! Phone: Ping! Robot: You can prove you have free will by not looking at that message. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're already better than our human boss!
Share January 24, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "Why did you reject my friend request on Facebook?" Carol says, "I'm not your friend. I'm a disgruntled wage slave who hopes you die in a freak industrial accident tomorrow at 3PM." The Boss says, "That's disturbingly specific." Carol says, "Hey, look. You have a meeting at the warehouse tomorrow."