Search Results for "speech"
Share March 17, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Our company opposes passage of the new internet law because it would be bad for our business. But that sounds selfish, so we'll issue a press release saying the new law would impinge freedom of speech. Alice: So... we're selfish liars? Boss: You can't get more free than that!
Share October 15, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert, Dogbert and several Elbonians sit at a conference table. Dogbert is wearing a miter. An Elbonian says, "Your Highness, the Elbonian people demand free speech." The man continues, "But don't worry, we'll still have societal and market pressures to squelch any original ideas." The man continues, "Frankly, all we want to do is make fun of your little hat."
Share January 28, 1997's comic on:
The Boss tells Dilbert, "The network went down and I lost my work." Dilbert replies, "The server crashed." The Boss says, "From now on, I want advanced notice of any unplanned outages." The Boss adds, "And I need it yesterday." Dilbert thinks, "I used to think that was just a figure of speech."
Share November 24, 1996's comic on:
The Boss stands next to an overhead projector and says, "Last week our consultants warned us about a serious threat." The Boss continues, "They said our competitors would 'eat our lunch.'" The Boss continues, "I'm happy to tell the executive committee that I leapt into action." The Boss continues, "I hired a security guard to protect the cafeteria." The Boss concludes, "Our lunches are safe." An executive says to another, "I always thought that was just a figure of speech." The woman replies, "Fool! Give me your department!" One executive shouts, "Let go of my hair!!" One of them slaps the other and someone shouts, "Ouch!!" The Boss thinks, "This is going better than usual." Dilbert asks a security guard, "Why is the cafeteria closed?" The guard replies, "Someone ate all the lunches." He burps.
Share May 03, 2000's comic on:
Ed stands at the podium and says, "As CEO, I thank you for making me obscenely wealthy." Alice, Wally and Dilbert continue to sit and listen. Ed goes on to say, "Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks." Ed looks down at his paper, thinking "I need a new speech writer."
Share December 07, 2001's comic on:
Asok, The Boss, and Wally are eating donuts and drinking coffee. Asok says, "The great thing about free speech is that I can criticize the government." The Boss replies, "I'd fire you." Asok says, "I mean outside of work." The Boss responds, "I'd fire you for that too." Asok asks, "May I express enjoyment of my pastry?" The Boss replies, "Sure. It's a free country."
Share January 10, 2004's comic on:
The boss: Our CEO is giving a speech at the conference you're attending. Ask his secretary if you can save money by riding together on the corporate jet. He doesn't want to inhale anything you've exhaled.
Share March 21, 2005's comic on:
The boss: "Ted, I don't know how to say this." "We need to lean up the process improvement process so I have to smartsize one resource." Ted: "Wow. Usually it's just a figure of speech when people say, "I don't know how to say this.""
Share October 02, 2005's comic on:
"Ted, you've been saying negative things about the company in your personal blog. We have to fire you." "I have freedom of speech. It's my constitutional right to say whatever I want." "If you fire me for my opinions, you'll be spitting on the graves of our founding fathers." "I'll get the best lawyer that money can't buy, and fight you all the way to the Supreme Court!" "The only way you can legally fire me is if my work isn't good." "Ooh. I probably said too much here." "Your work isn't good. Here's your final paycheck." "Stupid founding fathers."