Search Results for "spreading rumors"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #spreading rumors, #make me quit, #false rumors, #actual facts, #poacher, #endangered species

View Transcript

Transcript

Keith: Alice is spreading false rumors about me. She's trying to make me quit. Catbert: "At this company we don't get all anal about the difference between false rumors and actual facts." Keith: "That's not fair!" Catbert: "Said the alleged poacher of endangered species."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #gossip, #spreading rumors, #monkey could do, #corporate newsletter, #trick question

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "I heard a rumor that you think a monkey could do my job." Carol says, "Do you think a monkey could fling this corporate newsletter at your head?" Carol says, "Unh!!!" Ted says, "Is this a trick question?"

Who Alan Works For

Thank you for voting.
 Who Alan Works For - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #threat, #motivation, #fear, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: If you do what I tell you to do, I will nominate you for employee of the year. If not, I will spend the rest of my days spreading rumors about you. Terrible, terrible rumors. Dilbert: Hey, Alan. Who do you work for these days? Alan: Whoever scares me the most.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #baby eater, #gossipsize, #vicious rumors, #taken down, #pushed out, #mean spirited

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Ted, I've decided to gossipsize you." Catbert says, "I'm spreading vicious rumors about you until you feel compelled to quit." Ted says, "People are too smart to..." Someone says, "PIPE DOWN, BABY EATER!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #happiness, #money, #wrong, #invested, #options, #stock, #company, #desk, #zymed, #takeover, #rumors, #idiots

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Am I wrong or did you tell me you invested all of your money in stock options for a company called Zymed?" Dogbert continues, "The radio says the stock price tripled on takeover rumors. You just made about ten million dollars." Dogbert continues, "But they say money can't buy happiness." Dilbert replies, "Apparently 'they' are idiots."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #any rumors false, #no plans, #no relocation plans, #south pole, #eskimos, #replaced by, #liar boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "I want to assure you that any rumors you've heard are false." The Boss continues, "We are NOT planning to relocate the company to the South Pole where easily trainable native Eskimos will replace you." Dilbert says, "That's good because there aren't any Eskimos at the South Pole." The Boss looks shocked and says, "Excuse me, I have to make a phone call."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #touchy-feely, #department, #rumors, #flying, #lizards, #planet, #business, #zorbians, #team, #players

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks the Boss, "Do you have a minute?" The Boss sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's touchy-feely stuff." Dilbert asks, "What's going to happen to our department? The rumors are flying." The Boss asks, "What have you heard?" Dilbert replies, "Rumor has it that flying lizards from the planet Zorb will buy the company." Dilbert continues, "They plan to turn the employees into giant corn dogs on sticks." The Boss replies, "Don't worry about rumors. It's business as usual for now." Dilbert gulps and walks away. The Boss thinks, "I think I handled that pretty well." Dilbert and Wally have long sticks on their backs. Dilbert asks, "Are you sure this will impress the Zorbians?" Wally replies, "I hear they like team players."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #consulting job, #wealthy, #cuter, #spreading disease, #dilbert and rat

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk. Ratbert says, "Thanks to my consulting job, I'm wealthier than you." Dilbert looks mad. Ratbert says, "And I'm cuter, obviously. The only thing left is personality." Dilbert says, "Shouldn't you be spreading disease somewhere?" Ratbert says, "Three for three! Yes!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demoted, #spread rumors, #new boss, #fired, #clueless human, #doesn't work, #denial

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Demoted. The Boss says to Wally, "I plan to spread rumors about our new boss until I'm fired." The Boss continues, "I'll tell everyone that he's the most clueless human that ever lived. Hee hee!" Wally responds, "Believe me, that doesn't work." The Boss says, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #reporter, #dump garbage inparks, #20 years, #spreading, #secret

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol approaches The Boss and says, "A reporter wants to see you." Carol continues, "He claims we've been delivering all of our garbage to the local park for twenty years." Carol asks, "How is that even possible?" The Boss replies, "The secret is in the spreading."