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Three Problems With Spreadsheet

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Three Problems With Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #spreadsheet, #criticism, #semantics, #error, #correction

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Boss: Did you see any errors on the spreadsheet I put together? Dilbert: Only three. Boss: What are they? Dilbert: Your data, your format, and your formulas.

Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong

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Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #idea, #reality, #accuracy, #creative accounting, #numbers, #math, #error, #excel, #spreadsheet

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Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #communication skills, #poor skills, #random numbers, #spreadsheet, #clarify, #listening skills

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Woman says, "This isn't what I wanted." Dilbert says, "I know." Dilbert says, "Your communication skill are so poor that I gave up trying to understand what you wanted and instead put some random numbers on a spreadsheet." Woman says, "Why didn't you just ask me to clarify?!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your listening skills need work too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #spreadsheet, #yelling, #pain, #bored, #ridiculous

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The MBA guy Man says, "I put together a spreadsheet that might interest you." The boss says, "Ow! Ow! It's so boring, it hurts my head!" The boss says, "My brain is trying to escape through my ear!" Man says, "I get this a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #manage spreadsheet, #track things, #problems, #cute optimism, #pretty fuzzy

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The Boss: I've decided to manage by spreadsheet. "I'll track things until all of our problems fix themselves." CatBert: "Your optimism is cute." The Boss: "Thanks. You're pretty fuzzy yourself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #spreadsheet, #terrible job, #boos, #meeting, #office, #poorly conceived, #complexity of real world, #wrong cells, #numbers don't lie

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The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #spreadsheet for accuracy, #impenetrable jumble, #poorly organized, #cryptic labels, #simple document, #ratio of returns, #sales taxes, #roprtgresta, #organizing, #taxes, #coulumns

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"Can you check my spreadsheet for accuracy?" "It's an impenetrable jumble of poorly organized data with cryptic labels." "I only need you to check it for accuracy." "I don't think accuracy matters if no one can tell what it's for." "Sheesh! Let me expain this document!" "This column is the ratio of product returns to gross revenue excluding sales taxes, annualized." "it's clearly labeled "ROPRTGRESTA."" "What about the other 80 columns?" "What the #*%!?" "And Dilbert found no inaccuracies."

Engineer Touches Spreadsheet

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Engineer Touches Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #numbers, #budget, #obliviousness, #approval, #disease, #contagious, #managers, #executives, #accuracy, #fantasy

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CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #meetings, #buddha jogging, #reliability stats, #data does not exist, #random numbers, #deep understanding of reality

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The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #absurdly complicated, #financial model, #absenteeism, #error, #excel sheet, #stock holders, #poison cafeteria

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CEO: according to your absurdly complicated finical model, we can double revenue by increasing absenteeism. To be fair, there might be an error or two in the excel spreadsheet. CEO: Maybe , but I think I owe it to our stockholders to poison the cafeteria just to be sure,