Search Results for "stopped coming"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #telecommunting, #fired four years, #get email, #stopped coming

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss turns to an employee and asks, "Who are you?" The employee responds, "I'm Allen. I've been telecommuting for four years." The Boss says, "Allen? I fired you four years ago. Didn't you get my e-mail?" Allen and Dilbert are walking. Allen says to Dilbert, "This is exactly why I stopped coming to the office."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad news coming, #time stopped, #grows beard, #eternity later, #boss forgets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Time has stopped until my boss gives me the bad news that he hinted was coming. Maybe I'll use the time to invent a new language and grow a beard. An Eternity later Dilbert: EE_YO NEBABA WANPONU GREP> The boss: I forgot why I wanted to talk to you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #marketing plan, #consumers, #research is stupid, #opposed to science, #rational thinking, #manifestaions, #pendantic, #semantics, #stopped talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #another war, #elbonia, #france, #french embassy, #french stopped bomb, #goading, #nothing worth destroying, #scarp metal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" Elbonian: "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #big layoffs coming, #secret, #cats don't keep secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert peers over the wall and says, "Hey, Wally . . . Big layoffs coming." Catbert continues, "I've seen the list. I know more about your future than you do. But it's a secret." Catbert says, "Sadly, cats don't keep secrets very well." Ted says to Wally, "Nice chair."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bearer, #bead news, #tragic, #find humor, #husband, #village people, #coming back

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm going into business as a professional bearer of bad news." Dogbert continues, "I'll try to find the humor that is inherent in every tragic situation." Dogbert stands on a woman's doorstep. The woman says, "I give up. What IS the difference between my husband and the seventies pop group 'Village People'?" Dogbert says, "They're coming back."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #motivation fairy, #rewarding, #blurry vision, #long hors, #no raises, #no cubicle, #hair coming out, #wally fairy

View Transcript

Transcript

THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: The Fairy is sitting on top of Wally's computer monitor. Wally says, "It seems like your job isn't very rewarding." The Fairy, rubbing an eye, says, "Vision getting blurry." Wally says, "Long hours. No raises. No cubicle." The Fairy says, "Hair coming out in clumps." Wally watches as the Fairy flies away. The Fairy, looking exactly like Wally, with glasses and an almost bald head, says, "He's good. He's very good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #always a troll, #came to accounting, #had a look, #hair fell out, #horns and tail, #stopped gym, #finance troll, #accounting troll

View Transcript

Transcript

The troll sits at its computer. Dilbert asks, "Were you always a troll?" The troll responds, "No, this happened when I came to accounting." The troll continues, "First my hair fell out. Then I stopped going to the gym." Dilbert responds, "You have horns and a tail." The Troll replies, "When I realized I had a look going, I just went for it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demo, #good sale, #sales training, #see coming, #selling, #sucker, #victim, #wedgie, #gullible

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Sales Training. The speaker points to a picture of an overly smiley man. He says, "Don't act like you're selling something." The speaker points to a picture of a man getting a wedgie. He says, "A good sale is like a good wedgie. Your victim shouldn't see it coming." The speaker continues, "For this next demonstration I need a volunteer who can't see what's coming." The man next to Dilbert raises his hand.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #take risks, #employees afraid, #train them, #stitch goals, #punishing for failure, #raise morale, #stopped complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "According to this report, our employees are afraid to take risks." The Boss: "We can train them to take risks by giving them stretch goals and punishing them for failing!" Catbert: "We did that to raise morale." The Boss: "It stopped all the complaining, didn't it?"