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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1998's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #look stressed, #champion, #workplace, #stress no more, #unpaid overtime, #ignite hair, #pissed ouff, #angry, #taken advantage

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert remarks to Alice, "You look stressed out, Alice." Catbert says, "I could fix that by becoming a champion for improvements in the workplace." Catbert says, "Or I could give you a little booklet called 'Stress No More'." Catbert says, "Hmm.. I wonder which way is best." Alice reaches for booklet. Alice reads, "'Stress is your body's way of saying.." Alice continues, "'..You haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.'" Alice starts to get mad. Catbert says, "I've never seen a woman's forehead ignite her hair before."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2012's comic on:

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #executive program, #relocate, #vindictive, #stress, #loser, #turn down opportunity, #train, #discomfort, #underlings

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Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2015's comic on:

Tags #meditate, #meditation, #mindful, #mindfulness, #mbct, #stress, #trick, #laziness, #deception, #work ethic, #ruse, #nap, #napping

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Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?

Wally's Stress Problem

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Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2015's comic on:

Tags #stress, #health, #work, #employee, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse

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Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

Stress As A Wellness Issue

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Stress As A Wellness Issue - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2015's comic on:

Tags #loophole, #medicine, #health, #stress, #work, #medical leave, #work ethic, #laziness

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Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.

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Stress Typo On Website

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Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2015's comic on:

Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

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CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2011's comic on:

Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy

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Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2011's comic on:

Tags #inventions, #managers & supervisors, #portal, #parallel uiverse, #more prodcutive, #universe, #cops, #alice killed boss

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Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2011's comic on:

Tags #act nervous, #air travel, #airport security, #guards, #more invasive, #new pat down, #procedures, #situations, #sleeper cell, #terrorits, #tsa, #molestation

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Airport Security Man says, "Step over here, sleeper cell." Man says, "Our new pat down procedures might be more invasive than you're used to." Man says, "Only terrorists act nervous in these situations." Airport Security

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #office buildings, #open workspace, #environemnt, #crying baby spunds, #more distractions

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Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.