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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #own cubicles, #keep binders, #shopping cart, #strong interest, #graffitti, #express indviduality, #could be worse, #joining gang

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Dilbert enters carrying a briefcase and meets Wally who is pushing a shopping cart. Wally says, "Now that we don't have our own cubicles I have to keep my binders in this shopping cart." Wally draws on a cubicle wall with a can of spray paint and says, "And I've developed a strong interest in graffiti as a way to express my individuality." Dilbert says, "Well . . . It could be worse." Wally continues, "I'm thinking of joining a gang."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dating, #confident men, #phonies, #interest, #Opinion, #relationships

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Woman: I like men who are confident in any situation. Dilbert: Within that subset of men, do you prefer the phonies or the ones who are too dumb to know when they shouldn't be confident? Dogbert: What went wrong this time? Dilbert: I showed interest in her opinion.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dog, #stares, #plotting, #something, #instinct, #people's, #noses, #strong

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Dilbert sits in his chair thinking, "I hate it when my dog just stares at me." Dilbert thinks, "Is he plotting? Does hoe know something I don't? What is it?" Dogbert looks at Dilbert through a pair of binoculars. Dogbert thinks, "Dogs don't like to talk about it, but the instinct to look up people's noses is very strong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #financial advisor, #invest, #dogcart deferred earnings, #fund, #conflict of interest, #client, #interest

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Dilbert sits on a pillow on the floor working on his laptop. Dogbert tells him, "I'm going into business as a financial advisor." Dilbert says, "Sounds hard." Dogbert says, "It's easy. I'll tell all my clients to invest in the 'Dogbert Deferred Earnings Fund.'" Dilbert asks, "Isn't that a conflict of interest?" Dogbert replies, "Only if I show interest in the client."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #salary deonds, #Opinion, #interest in understanding, #dogcart relations, #hype performance

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "My salary depends on your opinion of my work. But you have no interest in understanding what I do, so . . ." Dogbert enters carrying a briefcase. Dilbert gestures toward him and says, "I hired the Dogbert Public Relations Firm to hype my performance and get me a big raise." Dogbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Press release: engineer cures cancer while saving baby from burning building." The Boss says, "That's not in his objectives."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #date, #guys, #unemployed, #new, #job, #social, #security, #Number, #social security number, #interest, #there

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A woman at a desk tells Dilbert, "Sorry, I don't date guys from work." Dilbert says, "I'll resign . . ." The woman says, "Sorry, I don't date unemployed guys." Dilbert says, "I . . . I'll get a new job . . . One you approve of." The woman says, "Sorry, I don't date guys with your social security number." Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "So, it turns out her unlucky number has nine digits in it . . ." Dilbert says, "But she knew my social security number, so I think there's some interest there . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #copy, #agenda, #wrong, #awkward, #leave, #casually, #problem, #economy, #deeper, #interest, #rates, #cover, #dark

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Dilbert enters a conference room and asks, "Is this the meeting?" People at the table mumble a response. Dilbert says, "Good." A man says, "Everybody take a copy of the agenda." Dilbert reads the agenda and thinks, "I'm in the wrong meeting . . . Now it's too awkward to leave." Dilbert thinks, "I'll casually stretch my arms, flick the lights off and escape under cover of dark." Dilbert turns the light off. Several people say, "Ouch!" Five people lie on top of each other in the doorway. The man says, "Oh, sorry, wrong agenda." Dilbert arrives at home wearing tattered clothing. He tells Dogbert, "I'm starting to think that the problem with our economy is deeper than high interest rates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #new personal crusade, #hunt down people, #strong opinions, #bop them, #everyone on earth

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Dogbert stands on a table and says to Dilbert, "I have a new personal crusade." Dogbert holds a cardboard tube. Dogbert says, "I'm going to hunt people down who have strong opinions on subjects they don't understand. Then I'll bop them with this cardboard tube." Dilbert says, "That would include everyone on Earth except you and me." Dogbert says, "Lean over here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #pressure makes diamonds, #garbage more compact, #slogans, #meeting, #strong job market, #engineers, #irritation makes perals, #pressure makes whine, #business

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At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Our new slogan is Pressure Makes Diamonds." Wally sits to one side. Wally says,"How about Pressure Makes Garbage More Compact? I wonder if that one is taken." Dilbert looks on as The Boss frowns. The Boss walks out followed by Wally, who says, "Irritation Makes Pearls. Or maybe Pressure Makes Whine." The Boss thinks, "I hate this strong job market for engineers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #upgarde, #product design, #overheat, #big picture, #no benefits, #over heating, #sales are strong, #end civilization

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I made an upgrade to your product design." He hands Dilbert a document. Dilbert says, "This would make the product overheat." The Boss says, "Let's try to look at the big picture." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Okay . . . Let's see . . . Your upgrade has no benefits and it costs more." Dilbert continues, "The overheating would start office fires and put all of our customers out of business." Dilbert continues, "If our sales are strong, we could create economic chaos and a global firestorm." Dilbert concludes, "Your 'upgrade' would destroy civilization as we know it." The Boss says, "Keep me informed." Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "So you're going to end civilization as we know it?" Dilbert replies, "I don't think I'll miss it, frankly."