Search Results for "stupid"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #embarrassment, #news letter, #leadership, #sound stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dueling, #announcing stupid, #dumbest person, #history, #moron, #new cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Loud Howard meets Topper Coworker: I did something stupid today!!! Topper: That's nothing. I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!! Together: I'm a moron!!! Dilbert: I need a new cubicle.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1989's comic on:


Tags #nature, #stupid, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . And nature has a way of compensating for weakness." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Dilbert explains, "That's why blind people often develop great hearing." Dogbert says, "I guess that also explains why stupid people have big mouths."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #recessions, #regular interns, #interns intern, #no pay, #semi relevant job experience, #slap you, #no reason, #stupid economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We don't have any openings for regular interns, but I can offer you a job as an intern to our intern. We won't pay you, of course, but you might acquire an imperceptible amount of semi-relevant job experience. And sometimes we'll slap you for no reason. Applicant: Stupid economy! I'll take it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #marketing plan, #consumers, #research is stupid, #opposed to science, #rational thinking, #manifestaions, #pendantic, #semantics, #stopped talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #explanation for working, #malicious, #prove stupid, #unemployment benefits, #working

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Wally, I have to fire you for posting a comic comparing managers to drunken lemurs. You won't be eligible for unemployment benefits unless you can prove you were stupid as opposed to malicious. Can you prove you're stupid? Wally: Is thereanother explanation for working here?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #worked around clock, #ten programmers, #establish new baseline, #tragic death march, #stretch golas, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #director of green, #turn off computer, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Director of Green Andy says, "Turn off your computer while you're thinking." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." Andy says, "if it weren't stupid, you wouldn't need me to tell you to do it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #computer problem, #human error, #stupid, #mock, #cabbage

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Was it human error?" Dilbert says, "I doubt it" Dilbert says, "No human would be that stupid. My best guess is that a cabbage got access to your computer." The Boss says, "Cabbbages can't use computers." Dilbert says, "Can they tell when they're being mocked?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #basic research, #donuts, #stupid, #increase profits, #stern, #sit in chair, #first bite

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm doing basic research to test my theory that donuts make other people stupid." The Boss says, "I expect you to do basic research that will increase our profits this quarter." Wally says, "Wow. It works on the first bite."