Dilbert says, "Where am I? What happened?" Dogbert says, "Someone hit you with a rock." Dogbert says, "The swelling in your prefrontal cortex will make you care less about hurting people, thus making you a natural leader." "Dilbert says, "There's also a bump on the back of my head." Dogbert says, "That's so you don't remember who threw the rocks."
"This budget would only work if the project encountered no problems whatsoever."
"All projects have unexpected problems. Therefore, this budget is almost certainly wrong."
"Leaders do not plan for failure."
"Do leaders make deceptive forecasts and later act shocked when things don't work out?"
"A leader first makes himself believe the lie, thus turning deception into an inspiring form of optimism. Observe."
"GAAA!!! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!"
"The swelling will go down in a few hours. Then we'll have a perfect budget."