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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #suspicion, #no clue, #software works, #wear noisier shoes, #talk behind back

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Dilbert: Wow, the guy who wrote this doesn't have a clue how software works. Man: When you talk about people behind their backs, it makes me wonder what you say about me. Alice: I think we just solved that mystery. Dilbert: You should wear noisier shoes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #man, #criticizing, #face, #head, #arrogance, #toxic, #personality, #garbage, #plague, #legs, #truth, #power, #behind, #back

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Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boos, #delegate work, #mark compalins, #throws a fit, #complain, #behind back, #boss retreats

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The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #mullet head, #nickname, #everyine call, #behind back, #secret nick name, #long in back

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carol: "Hey, mullet-head, this is for you." "What did you call me?" "Oops. I used the secret nickname that everyone in the office has for you." "My work here is done." "It's just a little long in the back!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #final report, #big changes, #too cowardly, #change names, #Advice, #behind back

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Caption: "Dogbert the consultant" Dogbert, Wally, The Boss and Alice are at a meeting. Dogbert presents a report. Dogbert says, "This is my final report." Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm recommending big, big changes..." The Boss reads the report. Dogbert says, "Because I know you're too cowardly to implement them." Wally says, "So...It will be our fault if nothing improves." Dogbert says, "Exactly." The Boss is excitedly reading. The Boss says, "AAAGH!! We can't do all of this!" The Boss says, "Couldn't we just change the names of all our departments?" Dogbert says, "Those imbeciles! How dare they ignore my advice!" Wally says, "You're supposed to say that to us behind our backs later." Dogbert says, "I'm in a hurry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #feminist freak out, #hin, #hiney, #tall the hun, #behind back, #harsh, #slave driver, #ruthless, #alice

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The Boss, reaching for a paper that Alice is handing him, says, "Thanks, Hun." Alice exclaims, "Hon?!" Alice says to The Boss, "You sexist %!*%! I will burn your village and make slaves of your children!" The Boss says to Alice, "It's short for Attila the Hun. Everyone calls you that." Alice says, "That seems harsh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #conversation, #ask ed, #dumb guy, #liar, #bad breath, #braggaty, #large pores, #combover, #describe me, #behind my back, #insecure guy, #steers conversation

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Alice: You should ask Ed about this. Carol: Is Ed the dumb guy who talks too much or the liar with the bad breath? Alice: He's the braggart with large pores and a combover. Dilbert: Wow. How do you describe me behind my back? Carol: You're the insecure guy who steers the conversation to himself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #grumpy dog, #no flattery, #chocolate cake, #feel better, #scratch behind ears, #leg spasms

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm grumpy today, so don't even try to talk to me." Dogbert continues, "And don't try to flatter me or give me chocolate cake to make me feel better." Dilbert says, "And I guess I shouldn't scratch you behind the ears until you have little leg spasms." Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs and says, "Right. None of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bad, #mood, #ears, #match, #back, #annoy, #better

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Dogbert thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. I'll have to annoy Dilbert and see if it makes me feel better." Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert stands behind him and says, "I just noticed that your ears don't match from the back." Dilbert gasps and grabs his ears. Dogbert walks away thinking, "Ahh . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #boss late, #small talk, #meet with marketing, #outfir, #chair is springy

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Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. Wally says, "As usual, the boss is late. What do you want to do?" Dilbert suggests, "Let's practice making small talk. It'll come in handy when we meet with marketing." Wally begins, "So, Alice, haven't we seen that outfit a LOT?" Dilbert leans back in his chair and says, "This chair is springy. Do you think they're all springy?"