Search Results for "team"
Share October 17, 2015's comic on:
Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.
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Share June 17, 2011's comic on:
Wally: I noticed some inefficiencies in another department, so I formed a Kaizen team to find solutions. I asked some of the peopl in that department to be on the team, but they were busy being inefficient. With any luck, my ignorance of their function will be seen as an aggressive type of objectivity.
Share January 26, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I'd like to begin the meeting by giving Dilbert some destructive criticism. Everything you do is dumb. I don't know why I hired you. I feel much more motivated now. If you feel a little bit worse, we came out ahead as a team.
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Share June 15, 1994's comic on:
"I joined the city soccer league." "I've never played, but as an engineer I have a natural instinct for ball trajectory and passing angles." "Where does the team play?" "Coach doesn't want to ruin my concentration by telling me."
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Share October 29, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Have you started to hate the new finance guy yet? wally: yeah, Is tarted yesterday. Dilbert: He seems so rigid. Wally: Rigid and inflexible, Not a team player. Dilbert: Do you have an extra napkin? Wally: I won't really know until Im done.
Share November 02, 1994's comic on:
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The employee survey showed that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the root cause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or 'we deserve more stock options.'"
Share November 28, 1994's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're changing the salary plan to make a bigger portion depend on the success of the team." The Boss continues, "We reason that if your pay depends on the success of co-workers, then your priorities will change." Wally and Dilbert look at each other. Wally and Dilbert stand by the printer. Wally looks at a document and says, "Now THAT'S a pretty resume!" Dilbert says, "Stop hogging the good printer."