Search Results for "the psychologist"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #the psychologist, #merger pending, #stress, #what merger?

View Transcript

Transcript

The psychologist tells Alice: "It's normal to have stress when a merger is pending." Stunned, Alice asks: "What merger?" The psychologist says: "There I go again!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1989's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. As the therapist takes notes, Dilbert says, ". . . And it seems like I've always been afraid of moths . . ." The psychologist asks, "Could this fear be related to your insecurity about your looks?" Dilbert replies, "I've never been insecure about my looks . . ." Dilbert continues, "Until this moment . . ." The doctor says, "Now we're getting someplace."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1990's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and explains to a therapist, ". . . Whenever I'm near a hardware store I feel an invisible force drawing me inside . . ." The psychologist says, "You've been talking about yourself since you got here. We never talk about ME and MY feelings. I hurt too, you know." Dilbert says, "I'm paying $75 an hour . . ." The psychiatrist says, "Good Lord, and you think that makes it okay to be selfish??"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1990's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist says, "Frankly, I'm tired of hearing your little problems . . ." The psychologist says, "I hate my job . . . I haven't had a decent date in a year . . . My biological clock is ticking away . . ." Dilbert asks, "Would it be unethical to date one of your patients?" The doctor replies, "Yes, especially an ugly one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1990's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert lies on a couch and says to a therapist, "I haven't been able to cry over Dilbert's death." The psychologist takes notes. Dogbert continues, "I really miss him, but I keep my sorrow bottle inside." The psychiatrist asks, "Did you know that dogs can't legally inherit from humans?" Dogbert bawls.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1991's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and a psychologist sits next to him taking notes on a pad of paper. Dilbert says, "I can't stop putting writing tools in my shirt pocket . . ." Dilbert continues, "It started harmlessly . . . First a pen, then two. Now I'm afraid to go anywhere without a pen and pencil of every color." The psychiatrist asks, "Do you have the secondary colors?" Dilbert replies, "There are SECONDARY colors?!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 1991's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist and lecturer." Dogbert continues, "My theory is that you can blame all of your problems on invisible people." Dilbert replies, "That doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me. Talk to Juan and Cindy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1991's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1991's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1991's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert lies on a couch and his psychologist sits next to the couch taking notes. The therapist says, "Your problem is my mother." Dilbert asks, "YOUR mother? I don't even know your mother. How could she be my problem?" The psychiatrist says, "She's an evil woman and she lives under the couch." An old woman says, "What you need is a good swat!"