Search Results for "therapy session"
Share April 27, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.
Share April 01, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: I was holding a virtual meeting using the cloud and... Therapist: you're already dead and you don't know it. Dilbert: um...no im an engineer. Therapist: and yet your should had a meeting in a cloud. Interesting. Dilbert: my people call it an avatar.
Share October 25, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert: All week I felt like I was driving through alternative universes I was me, But Was different. Therapist: Have you been near any dense objects that would make the fabric of space-time fold onto itself? ONE WEEK AGO The Boss: will there be any unforeseen problems? Dilbert: whats happening to me?
Share July 25, 2007's comic on:
Alice: I can't stop punching people who deserve to be punched. For example, your high rates and ridiculous combover make me want to punch your face in. Therapist: But you won't right? Alice: Lets see what happens when I regain the element of surprise.
Share October 24, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm addicted to the internet. "I no longer care for direct human interaction. It's too shallow and predictable." Therapist: "Maybe you shoudl try some outdoor activities." "I saw that coming."
Share October 28, 2001's comic on:
Catbert is lying on a psychologist's couch. He says, "I'm a director of human resources." Catbert continues, "So naturally, I have to keep up the appearance of being evil." The psychologist asks, "But you find it difficult to do evil things?" Catbert responds, "No, I like that part of the job... Stop jumping ahead, hag." Catbert continues, "My problem is that anytime I see a tiny object fall to the floor, I jump on it and eat it." Catbert continues, "Sometimes I'm not even hungry and I know it's just a piece of debris but I can't stop myself." The psychologist says, "Oops.. I misspelled psycho." Catbert's voice is heard "No! Not eraser debris!" Catbert is heard from the floor, "#*!! @$& Quack!" The psychologist laughs and responds, "Who's a hag?"
Share April 29, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: People always try to take advantage of me. Therapist: I know what you mean. I lost five pounds and my husband didn't notice! I came home last night and he hadn't even cleaned the garage like he promised. I had to park on the street! Dilbert: Is it my imagination, or have you found a clever way to make people pay to listen to you complain? Therapist: Tell me more about how you think Im clever.
Share September 06, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert says to several people wearing only towels, "Thank you all for coming to Dogbert's 'New Age Mineral Water Spa.'" Dogbert continues, "After your chowder bath therapy, I will be channeling the spirit of Jackie Mason in ballroom 'B.'" Dilbert says, "He's not dead." Dogbert replies, "Then I'll talk to his career."
Share October 30, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."
Share December 14, 1996's comic on:
The Boss tells Wally, "After I graduate from 'Quality School' I'll be a quality black-belt master." Wally asks, "Is the title metaphoric, or is there a chance you'll be beaten senseless during a breakout session?" The Boss slices the air with his hands as if he were practicing karate and thinks, "Zip zip zip zip." The Boss hits Wally and knocks him to the floor. Wally asks, "Was that necessary?" The Boss replies, "I'm not sure. I haven't done the pre-course reading yet."