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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #inefficiencies, #kaizen team, #soultions, #busy, #being ineffcient, #ignorance, #aggressive type of objectivity

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Wally: I noticed some inefficiencies in another department, so I formed a Kaizen team to find solutions. I asked some of the peopl in that department to be on the team, but they were busy being inefficient. With any luck, my ignorance of their function will be seen as an aggressive type of objectivity.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #executives, #busy converting, #lower morle, #stirring up trouble, #departments, #undercommunicating

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Carol: He's busy converting everything you did this year into a complete waste of time. After that, he's scheduled to lower our morale. Then he'll be stirring up trouble in other departments. Dilbert: How's tomorrow look? Carol: He'll be under-communicating all day.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #secretary, #busy day, #phone rings, #lunch, #meetings, #bad timing

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Alice: Don't talk to me now, Im trying to think. ONE HOUR LATER Alice: Im on the phone. TWO HOURS LATER Alice: Im late for a meeting. THREE HOURS LATER Alice: Come back when Im not busy. FOUR HOURS LATER ALICE: Please. Im trying to eat my lunch. FIVE HOURS LATER Alice: Okay. this is a perfect time, what can I do for you? Dilbert: Okay, so.... ring Alice: I think your problem is bad timing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #mobile (cell) phones, #dead battery, #charge cell phone, #too busy, #no time

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Co-worker: You never answer when I call your cell. Wally: My battery is dead. Co-worker: Maybe you should charge it for once. Wally: I don't have time for that. Co-worker: What do you do all day that makes you so busy? Wally: For starters, I have this conversation a lot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #dog, #rat, #phone call, #customer, #question, #compensate tiny brain, #to busy, #play dead

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DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the phone, "Please wait while I consult with somebody who has your exact same problem." Ratbert sits in the chair next to Dogbert. Dogbert asks him, "How do you compensate for a tiny brain, Ratbert?" Ratbert answers, "I just say I'm way too busy to learn. Then I get somebody else to do my work." Dilbert says into the phone, "I'm going to transfer you to an expert." Ratbert says, "Sometimes I pretend to be dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ratbert as intern, #high traffic cube, #look busy, #ratbert looks busy, #at computer

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Dilbert sits in his desk chair and says to Ratbert, "Since you won't go away, I'll make you an intern." Ratbert says, "Great! What's an intern?" Dilbert explains, "You'll spend your day in a high-traffic cube trying to look busy. Your main function is to make the rest of us glad we're not you." As he sits in a cubicle moving a mouse Ratbert thinks, "How did people ever look busy before computers?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #too busy, #forty hours training

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Wally sits at his desk. Catbert says, "Wally, you've been too busy to get the required forty hours of training this year." Catbert continues, "So I hired a contract employee to help you out." Wally asks, "When does he start?" Catbert replies, "Yesterday. He already finished eight hours of your training."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #need secreatry, #six months now ork, #too busy, #secretary needs secreatry

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Carol, the Boss's secretary, tells him, "I need my own secretary. I'm too busy to help you unless I get some support." The Boss replies, "Too busy? You haven't done any work for me in six months." Carol says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOU?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #haven't submitted paperwork, #raise, #show up, #talk to boss, #too busy, #secretary needs secretary

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Dilbert asks the Boss's secretary, "Carol, do you know why my raise hasn't showed up in my pay yet?" Carol replies, "I haven't submitted the paperwork." Carol says, "I'm too busy to do it. Maybe you should talk to my boss about getting me a secretary." Dilbert says, "Carol, YOU are the secretary." Carol replies, "That'll cost you another month."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #obsolete computer, #spirit crush, #cubicle, #safety hazrds, #look busy, #meaningful assignment, #wait, #binder, #desk

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The Boss introduces Matt to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is our newest employee, Matt." In a private fashion, The Boss says, "Would you mind ..." Dilbert finishes his sentence, "Crushing his spirit?" The Boss confirms, "Right." Dilbert shows Matt his cubicle. Dilbert says to Matt, "This little box will be your home for sixty hours a week." Dilbert and Matt enter the cubicle. Dilbert points to a binder and says, "It comes with an obsolete computer and a binder about safety hazards." Dilbert continues, "Your challenge is to look busy until someone gives you a meaningful assignment." Matt inquires, "How long will that take?" As Dilbert exits the cubicle, he comments, "I'm still waiting for mine." Matt proceeds to read the binder in front of his computer. "Safety tip 1: Don't sit near any obsolete computers."