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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #travel expenses, #meal costs, #liar or worse, #round numbers, #finance troll, #papers, #office, #computer, #desk, #technology

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Finance troll: Your travel expenses are rejected because all of your meal costs are round numbers. Either you are a liar or worse. Dilbert: I decide what to order based on what totals to a round number after a 15% tip. Finance: That's worse.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #reduce airline expense, #weed out dumb ones, #sprint across runway, #cling to plane, #takeoff

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #accounting depot, #travlke expeses, #copies of receipts, #need originals

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The Accounting Department "I can't process your travel expenses because you sent me copies of receipt. I need the originals." "I'm busy. Just fax them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #health insurance, #reduce expenses, #radiation dosimeters, #wrongness, #policy

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Boss: The company is trying to reduce expenses, so you need to pay for your own radiation dosimeters. Dilbert: We'll just stare at you until you understand the wrongness of that policy. Boss: Still nothing. One hour later

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #monsters, #office equipment, #email servers, #ancestral hime, #reduce expenses, #data vampires, #exagerration, #fiber optic

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I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #raise, #married with children, #new family, #benefit expenses, #laser like focus, #procreating

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Wally: Give me a raise or else I'll get married and have children. My new family would increase your benefit expenses and distract me from my laser-like focus on work. Boss: I will gladly pay extra to prevent you from procreating. Wally: Word it any way you like.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #medical expenses, #plattypuss

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Bob the Dinosaur remembers the image of a dinosaur crushed under a meteor. Bob says, ". . . But Larry the Dinosaur survived his brush with the meteor." Bob continues, "His medical expenses soared. Today we recognize Larry as the first of a new evolutionary chain of dinosaurs . . ." Bob pictures a flat animal with legs. Bob concludes, "The 'Doctor-Billed Flattypuss.'" Dilbert says, "I'm not buying this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #clyde, #canyon, #brochure, #home, #pictures, #scenery, #france, #spain, #bermuda, #travel agency, #vacation

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Dilbert sits in a travel agency. The travel agent says, "I recommend a trip to 'Clyde Canyon' for your vacation." Dilbert looks at a brochure and asks, "What would I do there?" The travel agent responds, "You could look at the scenery . . . Take some pictures." Dilbert asks, "Can't I just look at the brochure and stay home?" The man replies, "Yeah, that's what I do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hole, #optimist, #empty, #brochure, #travel, #baked, #base, #camp

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Dilbert stands in a hole and says to Dogbert, "Clyde Canyon looked a lot bigger on the travel brochure." Dilbert continues, "I wonder if an optimist would say this canyon is half full or half empty?" Dogbert replies, "Half baked." Dilbert points at a corner of the hole and says, "We can establish a base camp over here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #shot from cannon, #building, #crash window, #lands on desk, #Dilbert, #travel budget cuts, #primitive, #begs for busfare

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Boom! CRASH! I hear your company is trimming travel budgets. Dilbert: Can anyone lend me bus fare to get home?