Search Results for "travel expenses"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #travel expenses, #meal costs, #liar or worse, #round numbers, #finance troll, #papers, #office, #computer, #desk

View Transcript

Transcript

Finance troll: Your travel expenses are rejected because all of your meal costs are round numbers. Either you are a liar or worse. Dilbert: I decide what to order based on what totals to a round number after a 15% tip. Finance: That's worse.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1999's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Accounting Department "I can't process your travel expenses because you sent me copies of receipt. I need the originals." "I'm buys. Just fax them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #health insurance, #reduce expenses, #radiation dosimeters, #wrongness, #policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company is trying to reduce expenses, so you need to pay for your own radiation dosimeters. Dilbert: We'll just stare at you until you understand the wrongness of that policy. Boss: Still nothing. One hour later

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #monsters, #office equipment, #email servers, #ancestral hime, #reduce expenses, #data vampires, #exagerration, #fiber optic

View Transcript

Transcript

I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #raise, #married with children, #new family, #benefit expenses, #laser like focus, #procreating

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Give me a raise or else I'll get married and have children. My new family would increase your benefit expenses and distract me from my laser-like focus on work. Boss: I will gladly pay extra to prevent you from procreating. Wally: Word it any way you like.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #need approval, #exhausted, #bored, #head ache, #business travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I need your approval to.." "... Be exhausted, bored, stiff, headachy, annoyed and constipated for the next three days." "Also known as 'business travel.'" The Boss: "I must be traveling right now!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #approval for expenses, #sounds suspious, #heart transplant, #note from surgeon, #illiterate surgeon, #non credible guy

View Transcript

Transcript

The non-credible guy "Did you get approval for these expenses?" "What? Oh, yes, I did." "Why does everything you say sound suspicious?" "Because I just had a heart transplant." "I'd like to see a note from your surgeon." "He's illiterate."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #evil director of human resources, #payroll expenses low, #bad reviews, #employees, #defects, #list, #faults, #alphabetical

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #sales, #travel, #business, #idiot, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."