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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #putting you on team, #intelligent, #highly motivated, #stubborn, #dumb guy, #v neck sweater

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The boss sstands in Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a team." The boss says, "You'll be working with other intelligent, highly motivated people plus..." The boss puts his arm around a tall cave man looking man and says, "A stubborn dumb guy with a v-neck sweater."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #christmas presents, #sweaters, #ugly sweater, #lose a bet, #gift from mom, #hideous sweater

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Alice: What's up with the ugly sweater? Did you lose a bet? Dilbert: This? Oh, right. It was a gift from my mom. I'm wearing it once in case she asks me later. Alice: Did you know it was hideous before I told you? Dilbert: Maybe.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #blow on his neck, #chat, #flailing, #headphones, #noodle sized arms, #discourage

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Dilbert: My headphones will cleverly discourage people from trying to chat with me. Asok: He has headphones. What do we do? Alice: Blow on his neck. Be careful. He might start flailing his noodle-sized arms in your direction.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #therapist, #looks, #moth, #mother, #disguise, #sweater, #ears

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Therapist: ...so it's clear that your fear of moths derives from you insecurity about your looks. Dilbert: Really? Therapist: I'm sure you're aware that those big floppy ears of yours make your head look like a winged insect in flight. Now, is it possible that your mother was a giant moth in disguise? Dilbert: Well, I lost a sweater once; maybe she ate it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #teeny, #tiny, #sweater, #knitted, #dental, #floss, #bizarre, #pattern

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Dilbert asks, "Dogbert, have you been bored lately?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, why?" Dilbert replies, "I found this teeny-tiny sweater knitted out of dental floss." Dogbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "This is very bizarre." Dogbert replies, "I didn't use a pattern."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bills', #big, #egg-shaped, #men's fashion, #clothes, #statement, #sweater, #brown

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Dilbert walks into "Bill's Big 'N' Egg-Shaped Men's Fashions." A sign in the window says, "Specializing in the ovoid man." Dilbert says to the salesclerk, "I want to some clothes that make a statement." The clerk responds, "All our clothes make a statement." The salesperson hands Dilbert a sweater and says, "This sweater says 'Help me, help me, I look like a big egg!'" Dilbert asks, "Does it come in brown?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1992's comic on:


Tags #christmas presents, #Dogbert, #christmas, #gift, #hat, #humane, #society, #sweater

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Dogbert looks at a present under the Christmas tree and thinks, "I can't believe he only got ONE gift for me. This is an outrage." Dogbert thinks, "And he already told me it's a hat. A great dog like me, and he buys a hat?" A man at the Humane Society says into a telephone, "There's nothing we can do . . . Unless it has a matching sweater . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1999's comic on:


Tags #queen bee, #marketing, #create a buzz, #free rope, #worthless engineer, #around neck, #over beam, #suicide, #business

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Caption: "Queen bee of Marketing" A large bee women wearing glasses sits on a thrown. She hands a piece of paper to a man and says, "See if you can create a buzzover this." The man says, "Yes, my queen." The queen reached out to Dilbert who carries a coil of rope and says, "Is that free rope? Give it to me, you worthless engineer!" The queen bee wraps the rope around her neck and says, "Look everyone! There's enough to go around my neck and over that beam!" Dilbert tiptoes away.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #boss in office, #thank me, #all hard work, #measure torso, #knitting sweater

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Carol stands in the doorway of Asok's cube with a measuring tape. Carol says, "Asok, the boss wants to see you in his office." Asok says, "He must want to thank me for all my hard work. Am I right?" Carol says, "I'm supposed to measure your torso." Asok says, "Is he knitting me a sweater?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #turned into sheep, #wear as sweater, #advice not ridicule, #pushy sheep, #bright side, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "...And the next thing I knew, I'd been turned into a sheep." Dilbert's mom replies, "On the bright side, I won't need to remind you to wear a sweater." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for advice, not ridicule." Dilbert's mom replies, "No one likes a pushy sheep."