Search Results for "values substance"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Tube Clothing At The Bar

Thank you for voting.
Tube Clothing At The Bar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #dating, #jobs, #low standards, #tube clothes, #values substance, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #children drawing & painting, #executives, #chalky substance, #layers of mangement, #new layers, #p, #avp, #director, #doplphon, #inanimate object

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm adding a few layers of management below me. The new layers are VP, AVP, Director, dolphin, inanimate object, and chalky substance. If you have any issue, I encourage you to talk to the chalky substance.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #bad haircut, #poor font choice, #hand sanitizer, #substance over style

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm judging the quality of your business case by your bad haircut and your poor font choice. I plan to use a quart of hand sanitizer when I'm done touching your document. Man: I value substance over style. Alice: How's that working out?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #disc jockeys, #protest movements, #threatening boycott, #dogcart insulted, #organic substance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are threatening to boycott us if we continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show. Dogbert insulted every man, woman, child and organic substance in the known universe. He called the moon something that rhymes with totem. Boss: Modem?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #values, #don't run with scissors, #ask for raises, #employee values

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Experts say we need to empower employees with "values." So I guess we need some values, whatever the heck those are. Boss: I think it's like "Don't run with scissors." CEO: Let's start with that and see if they stop asking for raises.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #mission, #vision, #core values, #no clear direction, #inappropriate websites

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our mission, vision, strategy, road map, and core values are not aligned. So instead of flailing around with no clear direction, I plan to spend my days looking at inappropriate websites. Yesterday, when you said, "Bring me solutions, not problems," I hope you meant it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #embarras myself, #emotional meltdown, #panicked, #public speaking, #substance abuse, #worry

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm panicked about my presentation tomorrow. Wally: Relax. What's the worst that could happen? Dilbert: Well, I could embarrass myself in a career-ending way. Wally: Oh. I didn't think about that one. It might be so bad that you can't even get a recommendation for a future job. Then you'd have an emotional meltdown followed by substance abuse, untreated health issues, and a lonely death. And it could all happen because of something as trivial as a typo on one of your slides. I guess I can add "comforting" to my list of things I'm no good at.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fraudulent analysis, #total betrayal, #shareholders, #rational beghavior

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished the fraudulent analysis you requested to support the decision you already made. It's a total betrayal of shareholders and a slap in the face for anyone who values rational behavior. Boss: Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted. Dilbert: You're welcome.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1992's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with Dogbert and says, "I didn't remember being abducted by aliens until you hypnotized me. But now I remember they looked like 'E.T.'" Dilbert looks at a drawing and continues, "I remember being in a dark room with rows of seats. They fed us a popcorn-like substance. My feet were stuck to the floor." Dilbert continues, "I recall being disgusted that they charged me six dollars to enter the ship." Dogbert says, "That's why you suppressed the memory."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1994's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"