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Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #nobel prize commitee, #theories, #understand, #science, #simpilist soultrion, #heories, #vote ourselves

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Nobel Prize Committee: The three guys with Albert Einstein hair look at a stack of papers and say, "Okay, we've narrowed it down to the theories we don't understand." One guy says, "In science, the simplest solution is usually the best. Which of these theories is the simplest solution?" The second guy says, "Well... that would be whatever is on top of the pile." The third guy says, "Are you SURE we can't vote for ourselves?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #doctor dogbert, #marketimg, #elbow, #vote, #pulls pants down

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Caption "Doctor Dogbert" Dogbert wears a crown and stethoscope. A fully clothed man sits on the examination table. He says, "I hurt my elbow, doctor." Dogbert says, "Let me see it." The man pulls down his pants. Dogbert says, "I recommend a career in marketing. And it's not a good idea to vote."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #website, #various sponcers, #pay for eyeballs, #link to us, #owe ourselves, #billion dollars

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Dilbert, Ming,the new web employee, and the boss are sitting at a table. Ming has a sheet of paper on the table. Ming says: "I linked our web site to various sponsors who pay us for eyeballs." Ming says:"Those sponsors link to other web sites who link to us." Ming says to the boss:"The net-net at the end of the day is we owe ourselves a billion dollars." The boss thinks: "eyeballs?", while expressing disgust.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #one vote, #cpr, #heimlich maneuver, #two votes, #yelling boo, #drill hole, #below

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Asok the Intern is down and his legs are sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "Okay, we have one vote for using CPR, one vote for the Heimlich Maneuver..." Dilbert continues, "And two votes for sneaking up behind him and yelling 'boo'." Dilbert, Wally, Alice and The Boss look at Asok lying on the floor as Dilbert says, "I don't see how we can get behind him." The Boss says, "What if we drill a hole from below?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2003's comic on:


Tags #elbonians, #buy influence, #vote

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Headline: P.R. for Elbonia. Dogbert is meeting with two Elbonians. Dogbert says, "You need to buy influence in Washington." Dogbert continues, "It sounds expensive, but it's a lot more affordable than you'd think." An Elbonian stands outside of a building in Washington D.C. He stops a politician and asks, "Gum?" The politician responds, "You got my vote!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dogbert for president, #terrorits, #skull, #salad bowls, #steal money, #vote, #pollution has viatamins, #lies, #fabrications, #intimidations

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Dogbert for President "Vote for me or the terrorists will use your skulls for salad bowls." "I promise to take money from the people who don't vote for me and give it to the people who do." "Pollution has vitamins!" "I like how he makes me feel."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #disturbing news, #outsourced, #customer service function, #india, #subcontracted, #jobs to mexico, #lowest cost provider, #pay ourselves

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"I have some disturbing news." "We outsourced our customer-service function to India a few years ago." "So?" "Apparently, they subcontracted the job to Mexico." "Then Mexico subcontracted to Vietnam, who subcontracted to the Philippines.." "..Who subcontracted it to us." "It turns out that we're the lowest-cost provider because we lie about our hold times." "In summary, we pay ourselves to hose ourselves." "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "We should raise our prices?"

Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For

Thank you for voting.
Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #election, #voting, #choice, #choosing, #decision, #indecision, #judgement

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Boss: I can't decide who to vote for in this election. Alice: Make your voting decision the same way you make your work decisions. Boss: Common sense and gut instinct? Alice: We just call it "wrong."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #couples, #dating, #play games, #guess the lie, #say 2 things, #dating games, #obvious things

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Woman: Let's play a game. We each say two things about ourselves and the other has to guess which one is a lie. Dilbert: I love to play games like that. My second thing is that I eat food.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1990's comic on:


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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "No, you may NOT borrow the car to go cruising." Dogbert says, "I think we should vote on it." Dilbert replies, "Heh-heh . . Okay, but a tie means no change in the decision." Dogbert says, "Fair enough." Dogbert thinks as he drives the car, "I'm glad he didn't demand a recount."