Search Results for "wdnw system"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #wdnw system, #wally does no work, #meeting, #acronym, #lazy, #get coffee

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Wally says, "I need to spend the next year optimizing the WDNW system" Boss says, "I've never heard of the WDNW system." Wally says, "You only hear about the systems that have problems." Wally says, "If everything goes as planned, you'll never hear about WDNW again." Boss says, "What does the WDNW system do?" Wally says, "It keeps our zeros and ones from accidentally forming tens." Boss says, "That can happen?" Wally says, "Not on my watch." Dilbert says, "How's the 'Wally Does No Work' project?" Wally says, "The acronym helped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #fix control management system, #long time, #meeting, #leadership, #timeline, #failure, #annoyed, #blame others

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The Boss says, "What's taking you so long to fix the control management system?" Dilbert says, "Your leadership has taught me to give you laughably unrealistic timelines, then blame others when I miss deadlines." The Boss says, "You're not even doing that right." Dilbert says, "I guess I need more of your leadership."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #dogbertland, #tax, #garbage, #trash, #ocean, #texas, #king, #banking system

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The Boss says, "We're reincorporating in Dogbertland for tax reasons." Dilbert says, "Where?" The Boss says, "It's a floating patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean the size of Texas." In Dogbertland Ratbert says, "How's the banking system?" Fly says, "Business is booming, King Ratbert."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #system, #network, #job, #should, #engineer

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The Boss says, "Can you put the PX9 system on the R3 network?" Dilbert says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "But just to be clear. What an engineer can do is rarely what he should do." The Boss says, "What should you do?" Dilbert says, "Apparently, your job."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #director of purchasing, #dinosaur, #new system, #annoyed, #revenge, #oil, #gas, #extinct, #suv, #ancestors

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The Boss says, "Bob is the director of purchasing. He's here to describe our new procurement proces." Bob says, "Our system divides products into two categories: Things you don't want, and things you're not allowed to buy." Bob says, "It's my way of saying thanks for lubing your SUV with my dead ancestors."

Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates

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Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #product design, #product designer, #cruelty, #update, #computer, #reboot, #operating system, #torture

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Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #justice, #trial, #jury duty, #laziness, #lazy, #juror, #legal system

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Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

Boss Figures Out A System

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Boss Figures Out A System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #managing, #problems, #work, #workload, #solution, #problem-solving

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Dilbert: I'm bored. Boss: Here's some more work. Alice: I'm overwhelmed with work. Boss: Here's some more work. Boss: Managing was hard until I figured out a system.

Drone Defense System

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Drone Defense System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #drone, #help, #rescue, #inept, #failure, #technology

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Dilbert: The government asked us to design a system to stop drone attacks on the homeland. The future of civilization is in our hands. Wally: I'm gonna miss civilization.

Problem With The System

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Problem With The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fired, #bottom, #firing, #termination, #layoff, #hierarchy, #logic, #illogical, #executives

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Boss: Company policy says I have to fire the bottom ten percent of performers, so... you're fired. Dilbert: I thought I was near the top. Boss: That was before I fired everyone below you. Dilbert: Can you see any problem with your system? Boss: Yes, it's exhausting.