Search Results for "website"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #website, #moradc, #nicknames, #client satisfactions surveys, #group monitors

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: Ted, the I.S. group monitors every website you visit. Based on that information, we came up with a list of nicknames for you. My job got a lot more fun after we stopped doing the client satisfaction surveys. Mordac

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #internet & world wide web, #coding, #paywall, #website, #wrote script, #new content, #idea to eliminate, #revenue, #lowered costs

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #program website, #collect browser hostory, #invent device, #sense of right and wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #deception, #ignorance (knowledge), #helicopter from kit, #link to website, #too dumb, #pliers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #every person, #on earth, #one person, #the entire world, #tibetan monks, #ugly website

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #asks on date, #away, #faq section, #ignorant, #without merit, #website

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Ming and says, "Ming, our website needs a FAQ section." Ming replies, "I find your suggestion ignorant and without merit. Away with you." Dilbert, unaffected by her response asks "So...are you doing anything this weekend?" Ming sighs, "Gaaa!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #workplace injuries, #10 thousand percent, #new safety manuals, #website, #blood pressure rising

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Workplace injuries are up ten thousand percent since I distributed the new safety manuals." "The binders have sharp edges and, apparently, a curse. I asked Asok to help put it on our website." Asok: "Hands... So numb. Eyes... Strained. Blood pressure rising..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #sing or dance, #resigned, #huge resignation, #manifesto, #video clips, #humorous sound files, #website, #broadway theater prodcution, #first motivated employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted approaches Dilbert, "Can you sing or dance?" Dilbert turns to face Ted, "Ted? I thought you resigned in disgust two weeks ago." Ted replies, "Well...I wrote a huge resignation manifesto that I planned to e-mail to the entire company." With hands raised Ted says, "But I thought it needed pictures." With arms now raised to the side Ted says, "Before long I was adding video clips and humorous sound files." Exasperated Ted states, "Then I thought, hey, why not put it all on a website?" More calmed and reserved, Ted says "Now I'm turning the whole thing into an off Broadway theatre production." Arriving home after work, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I saw my first motivated employee today."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #feedback, #website design, #computer, #eyes wide, #psychopath, #photo wall, #toe fungus, #despair, #yell, #mouth open, #scared, #pain, #satan, #licking, #brain, #tone down, #hair stand up

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #website, #revamp, #launch, #technology, #crash, #success, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We launched our revamped website today." Dilbert says, "All of the technology we used is already obsolete and every vendor we hired is out of business." Dilbert says, "?And it just crashed." Dilbert says, "I miss the days when we had brief windows of success."