Search Results for "week"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 360

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2010's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #accomplish, #week, #fantasy, #time magazine, #entrepreneurial, #real job, #motion to head, #powerpoint slides, #horror, #real life, #kill

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, what did you accomplish this week?" Dilbert says, "I doubled my sales and made the cover of Time magazine." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Oh. Whoops. Sorry." Dilbert says, "For a moment there I confused my entrepreneurial fantasty life with my real job." Dilbert says, "I run a parallel career in my mind. In that world, I'm the founder of a hot start-up."B<R>Dilbert says, "It keeps my brain from fully realizing the horror of my actual career and trying to kill the rest of my body." Dilbert says, "But to answer you original question, this week I made some powerpoint slides that have no particular use." Dilbert says, "GAAA!!! My brain is trying to kill the rest of my body!" The Boss says, "Moving on..."

Working Sixty Hours A Week

Thank you for voting.
Working Sixty Hours A Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2015's comic on:

Tags #work ethic, #hours, #workload, #interpretation, #negativity

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.

Ted Died Last Week

Thank you for voting.
Ted Died Last Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2015's comic on:

Tags #listening, #listen, #listener, #silence, #death, #dead, #attention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ted died in his cubicle. Alice: When? Dilbert: About a week ago. They just found him. Alice: Remember when I said Ted is an unusually good listener? I have new data.

Software Done Next Week

Thank you for voting.
Software Done Next Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2016's comic on:

Tags #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you any farther along with the software? Wally: I discovered an unexpected problem. That set me back a week. Boss: You say the same thing every week. Wally: No one jumps off a winning horse.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #secretaries (office), #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2011's comic on:

Tags #meetings, #competition (psychology)

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2011's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2011's comic on:

Tags #suspicion, #questioning, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask Carol to help me schedule these meetings? Boss: Ooh... that's no good. She'd use it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else for a week. Dilbert: Is it okay if I just stare at you in disbelief? Boss: Shouldn't you be scheduling some meetings?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2011's comic on:

Tags #administrative agencies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2011's comic on:

Tags #honesty, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."