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The Boss Had A Great Weekend

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The Boss Had A Great Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #Fun, #weekend, #listening, #frustration, #fair, #fairness, #equality

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Boss: Wow, I had an amazing weekend at my mountain cabin. Wine, friends, food, and amazing views! Dilbert: I worked all weekend because you said you would fire me if I didn't get this done by your arbitrary deadline. Boss: You're a terrible listener.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #evil director, #meeting, #leadership, #empty promises, #imaginary, #work, #weekend, #promoted

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Leadership is the art of trading imaginary things in the future?" Catbert says, "For real things today." Catbert says, "If you work all weekend, you might be promoted someday, if there's ever an opening... and no one else is more qualified."

How Amazing The Weekend Was

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How Amazing The Weekend Was - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #relationships, #friendship, #small talk, #love, #dating, #frustration, #obliviousness, #conversation

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Boss: Do you want to hear how amazing my weekend was? Alice: No. Would you like to hear about the extended tragedy that is my social life? Boss: No. I went to the mountains. Alice: I fell in love with a dying polygamist.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #administrative agencies, #frustration, #meetings

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Woman: Wally, I need your data for my meeting in three days. Wally: Okay. It shouldn't take more than three or four days to pull it together. Woman: Not three or four days. I need it in three days. Wally: Okay. Three days. Not counting the weekend and the day I give it to you. Woman: That would be six days! Wally: Six or seven days. Tops. Woman: I need it in three days, not a week. Wally: That's no problem. A week or two at the most. Woman: Okay! You win! I'll reschedule my meeting for two weeks out! And you'll have the data in two weeks? Wally: Yes. Two weeks or so.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #secretaries (office)

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Carol: I manually entered all of the employee data you wanted. It took the entire weekend. Boss: I probably should have told you I no longer need it. Carol: Die! Die! Die! You inconsiderate monster! Boss: Did you really enter all of the data? Carol: Maybe. Let's call it a tie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #money

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Dilbert: I heard you flew to Vegas and played pai gow all weekend. Wally: Go away. Dilbert: That's a difficult game to learn after having a few adult beverages. Wally: Drop dead. Dilbert: How'd you do? Wally: Leave me alone!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #video games, #golf

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Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert asks, "Hey, Dogbert, you want to go camping this weekend?" Dogbert replies, "Why don't we just sleep in the garage, eat bugs and not take showers." Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "That is COMPLETELY different from camping, for reasons which will come to me." Dogbert asks, "Because we might not get lost?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert floats through the air with a propeller strapped to his back. He thinks, "My anti-gravity formula should really impress the guys at work." Wally says, "I built a bird house this weekend." Dilbert says, "I conquered gravity." Another man says, "I taught myself to hum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The caption says, "Asok the Intern." Dilbert, Alice, Asok and Wally sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I came in over the weekend and looked at the design you've been working with all year." Asok continues, "It turns out that you could have built the unit at half the cost with just one minor change." Asok continues, "Is it true I can win awards for this sort of thing?" Alice whispers to Wally, "Fetch the internapult."