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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #criminals, #election, #meeting, #window

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, who is wearing a sash and carrying a flashlight, "I still think it's dumb to elect the only known criminal around as leader of the neighborhood crime watch." Dilbert responds, "Maybe 'Bad Ed' has changed." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert reads the note on the brick and says, "It's from Ed. 'Next meeting: Tuesday at 8:00 P.M.'" Dogbert says, "I can't wait for the newsletter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #nuclear rocket, #engineers, #blast astroid, #collsion, #approved corporate font, #launch window, #moon

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Boss: Our engineers built a nuclear rocket to blast an incoming asteroid out of its collision course with Earth. But we didn't use the approved corporate font on the nose cone and we missed the launch window trying to erase it. Now what are we going to do with a nuclear rocket? CEO: Well, the moon has always been a jerk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #thrown out window, #press charges, #security, #gunning for job, #hire for yacht, #policeman

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Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2007's comic on:


Tags #coworkers, #mean spirited, #nasty comments, #Family, #cubicle, #window, #envy

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Man: "Alice, Did you hear I'm getting a cubicle by the window?" Alice: "Although I wouldn't want that cubicle because of the glare, the fact that you want it makes me hate you for getting it." Man: "We're like a family here." Alice: "I hope it collapses on your head!"

Wally's World Expands

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Wally's World Expands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #window, #view, #seeing, #perspective, #office, #office workers

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Wally: My world view has expanded since I moved to a cubicle near a window. I didn't realize how much stuff was outside our building. Boss: Such as the rest of the universe? Wally: I can only see the alley in front of the parking garage.

P Ity The Windowless

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P Ity The Windowless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #office, #office workers, #location, #window, #ego, #superiority

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Tina: Do you think you're better than me just because you have a cubicle with a window? Wally: Yes. Continuous exposure to new stimuli makes my brain create useful pathways and connections. Tina: I did not see that coming. Wally: I pity the windowless.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #tech support, #ticket window, #evaluated, #how helpful, #trouble tickets, #stubborness, #obsticle, #financial success, #disconnected, #new stranger, #hating

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Tech Support: Hello, this is tech support. May I close your ticket now? Dilbert: Um... no. You haven't helped me yet. I just called you. Tech Support: I'm not evaluated on how helpful I am. I'm evaluated on how many trouble tickets I close. Your stubbornness is becoming an obstacle to my financial success. By the way, if our call gets disconnected, I count that as a closed ticket. Dilbert: I'll make it quick. Tech Support: What? What? I can't hear you. Dilbert: Son of a beach ball! On the plus side, my goal of hating one new stranger every day is right on track.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1989's comic on:


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Dilbert and Dogbert, who is wearing a hat, walk into Scaparotti's Restaurant. There is a sign in the window that says, "No pets." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just try to act human." Dilbert says to the waiter, "Two ravioli supremes and garlic bread." Dogbert adds, "And a cat . . ." Dilbert says, "That's 'catsup,' my friend would like some CATSUP." Dogbert says, "Maybe something Siamese."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1989's comic on:


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Dilbert stands at a teller window at the Bank of Ethel. The teller says, "I spent all of your money. Terribly sorry." Dilbert says, "You what?!" Dilbert says angrily, "This is outrageous! How can you spend all of MY money?!!" The woman responds, "Oh, Mr. Moneybags, like it was SO MUCH." Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "Oooh! I am ACTIVELY considering taking my business elsewhere!" The teller asks, "Are you making a deposit or just wasting my time?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1990's comic on:


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Dilbert sits at his desk assembling a gadget. Dogbert says, "Good news: the 'all-you-can-eat" salad joint just decided to stay open twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "We can get a table by the window and live there for the rest of our lives - for only $5.95 apiece!" Dilbert asks, "How would we bathe?" Dogbert replies, "They have little 'moist towelettes.'"