Search Results for "windows"
Share June 22, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: I can't get buy-in for my project because our CEO hasn't approved it. And I can't get our CEO to approve it until I have buy-in from all of the divisions. On the plus side, now I understand why the windows in our building don't open. Boss: It's cleaner.
Share February 15, 2012's comic on:
Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.
Share January 13, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits in a restaurant with a businessman. The businessman says, "My idea is to develop a word processing program for Windows." Dogbert says, "That's an interesting concept. I wonder if twenty dollars would be enough." The businessman asks, "To start a software company?" Dogbert answers, "No, to pay our waitress to beat you with a loaf of French bread." The waitress enters carrying a loaf of bread.
Share February 13, 1996's comic on:
Catbert sits on a monitor and thinks, "I know I should be off tormenting people . . ." Catbert continues thinking, "But I can't pry myself away from this most excellent butt-warming device." Catbert lies face down on the monitor and thinks, "It's probably because of the hype, but I'm thinking this would be even better with 'Windows 95.'"
Share November 29, 1998's comic on:
Tim stands at the front of the room. He says, "Welcome to the mandatory Windows NT class." Ted points to an easel with the words "Two weeks" written on it. "Personally, I've only been using a computer for...how long? Anyone?" Ted continues, "But a good trainer can teach any subject." Ted raises his hands over his head and says, "Okay, everyone stand up and stretch!" Ted continues to hold his arms over his head and says, "Or sit there and glare at me. That's good too." Ted holds a box upside down and says, "I forgot to reserve the room with the computers, so I'll use this box." Ted continues, "...and let's say this eraser is the moose." Dilbert sits with Dogbert on the couch and says, "I left when he told us to use our teeth as a keyboard." Dogbert says, "Ooh-yah."
Share February 18, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert: "I'm going to work for the cable company." Dilbert: "Why?" Dogbert: "I enjoy giving people abusive service windows." Dilbert: "Oh" Dogbert: "Well, if you can't be home from March to October, then say goodbye to Regis and Kelly!"
Share May 04, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"
Share June 13, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: The software you sold us stopped working after a week. What's up with that? Salesman: We use a third-party library, and it isn't compatible with the new version of Windows. Dilbert: And...? Salesman: We appreciate your business?
Share December 04, 2014's comic on:
Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.
Share August 21, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "I'm rich now, Bob. Would you like a job as my flunky?" Bob replies, "Wow! Are you kidding? I'd be honored! I've always aspired to be a flunky!" Bob licks a windowpane and says, "I'll start by tongue-washing the windows!" Dogbert says, "Who says the work ethic is dead?"