Search Results for "women and men"
Share July 17, 2015's comic on:
Alice: There's a double-standard. Men can shout and curse and no one blinks. But if I say one stern word to someone, they call me "emotional." Dilbert: I've seen you make men cry during meetings. Alice: Only the wusses.
Share April 28, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.
Share June 01, 1991's comic on:
The panel says, "The difference between men and women. (Well, one of them.)" Dilbert and a woman look out the window. The woman says, "It's raining!! Let's go frolic in the rain!!" Dilbert thinks, "Frolic?" Dilbert stands in the rain wearing a raincoat and hood. The woman dances in the puddles without a coat or shoes. Dilbert thinks, "This'd better have a huge payoff."
Share June 06, 1992's comic on:
A woman says to another woman, "I don't know what we can do to meet more men." Dilbert walks up to the women and says, "Hi, my name is Dilbert." The woman says, "Get lost . . . I'm armed." As Dilbert walks away looking shocked, the woman says, "And the men we do meet all have that same stunned bunny look."
Share August 21, 2001's comic on:
Two women are at the gym. The dark haired says to the light haired, "I'm tired of dating attractive men who are dumb and self-centered." The dark haired continues, "Maybe I can find an intelligent homely guy and clean him up." The light haired exclaims, "No!!!" Dilbert approaches the women and asks, "Do you mind if I work in a set with those five-pounders?" The dark haired looks at Dilbert from the corner of her eye and smiles. The light haired screams, "Don't do it, Amber!"
Share July 19, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert's moral compass is damaged. Dilbert says, "My new job is to make employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "Here's a chart that shows the sort of women that are attracted to men at various salary ranges." Dilbert says, "Trophy wives are at the top, obviously, and down in your range we have the carnival skanks."
Share March 18, 2012's comic on:
Woman: Okay, what's going on here? Dilbert: I'm creative. Studies show that women prefer creative men for short-term relationships. Woman: That plant is random, not creative. Dilbert: Creativity is random. If creativity were anything but random, someone would have figured out the algorithm by now. I notice that your pupils are dilating. That's a sign of attraction. My plan is working. Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots. Just relax and let it happen. Woman: This is weird. I'm actually attracted to you now. Dilbert: Thanks, but I'm going to shop around. Woman: My world no longer makes sense! Dilbert: Walk it off.
Share January 24, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and several men sit in the audience. A man says, "At the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League' we must dispel society's notion that scientists are always male." The speaker continues, "Unfortunately, our membership is totally male because all of you joined just to meet women. Any ideas?" One man says, "Maybe we could merge with the 'Aerobic Instructor Anti-Defamation League.'"
Share May 14, 1992's comic on:
Larry King sits at a table and says into the microphone, "Tonight on 'Larry King Live' we have a dog who makes sexy beer commercials, plus an angry feminist." The woman points to Dogbert and says, "His commercials encourage discrimination against women by portraying us all as sex objects." Dogbert asks the woman, "Are you saying men are so dumb, they get their views on life from beer commercials?" The woman crosses her arms and says, "I call them like I see them."
Share May 27, 1992's comic on:
A short man wearing an Indian pancha says to two women in a bar, "Hello, ladies." The man says, "I'm Wilt Ghandi. I'm the product of a genetic experiment combining the wisdom of Wilt Chamberlain and the body of Ghandi." One woman says, "That's the best line tonight. I'm going for it." The other woman says, "Hey, I saw him first."