Search Results for "working fine"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2013's comic on:


Tags #civil liberties, #surveillance, #lost data, #company data, #backups, #governments secret database, #recors, #working fine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We lost all of our company data and our backups, too. So I hacked into our government's secret database where they keep records of everything we say or do and got it all back. Boss: I feel as if I should be doing something now. Dilbert: Nah. Everything is working fine.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exhaustion / tiredness, #office workers, #peak efficeincy, #brain, #peak effiency, #not working

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain isn't working at its peak efficiency this afternoon. Common sense says I should go home early to avoid making any mistakes that would be bad for the company. Unless... nothing I... do is important. Boss: Sounds like your brain is back to its peak efficiency.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #gloating, #quit working, #won lotery

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #questioning, #draw attention, #opposite apporach, #working

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And so, as you can see... Man: All of the numbers I gave you last week are wrong. I would have mentioned it sooner, but I don't like to draw attention to myself. I see that you're taking the opposite approach. How's that working for you?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #bears, #happiness, #compares, #raise, #working, #people attacked, #bear attacked

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Studies say your happiness depends on how well your life compares to others. So instead of giving you a raise, I'm going to show you pictures of people who were attacked by bears. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: Dang you to heck, this is working!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #office workers, #uncomfortable, #enjoy working, #my job, #suffer, #boss, #unhappy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It make me uncomfortable when they appear to enjoy working. It feels like I'm not doing my job. Suffer! Same planet, different reality.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #excellent performance, #no bonus, #lost fortune, #elbonian collpase, #fault for working here

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and Dlbert sit at the Boss' desk, The Boss says, "Your performance was excellent, but there's no bonus this year." Dilbert says,"Why not?" The Boss says, "The company lost a fortune in the Elbonian currency collapse." The Boss says, "But in a way, it's your own fault for working here." Dilbert says,"Thanks. That takes the sting out."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1995's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "My laptop PC keeps freezing up. Come take a look at it." Dilbert replies, "I'm telecommuting, Dogbert. I can't be distracted by home projects." Dilbert says, "Don't come another step closer. This is my virtual cubicle, within which I can not be disturbed." Dilbert spreads his arms and continues, "These invisible walls form a cone of productivity around me." Dilbert continues, "Within this zone I am a dedicated employee, totally focused on the corporate vision." Dilbert continues, "Nothing can distract me from my firm commitment to the work-at-home principle." Dogbert says, "Fine. I think I'll set the couch on fire." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table working on a laptop. Dogbert says, "Another victory for the distractor!" Dilbert says, "I swear, someday principle will win!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dilbert and mother, #watching, #web cam, #not working hard, #fire wall, #using mail server

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer when the phone rings. Dilbert's mom is on the other end. She is sitting in a chair with an open laptop with Dilbert's face on the screen. She says, "I've been watching you through your web cam and I don't think you're working hard enough." (With the emphasis on "much"...) She says, "Well, there wasn't much of a fire wall. I'm using your mail server to spam my mahjongg club."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #call center, #customer questions, #working conditions, #inhumane, #innocent employees

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.