Search Results for "works fine"
Share July 22, 2007's comic on:
Alice: Our pointy-haired boss is insisting we use old technology because he thinks it will be easier to get it funded. "You should raise that issue at the meeting." "We'll back you up." Dilbert: "Absolutely." The Boss: "Are there any issues?" Asok: "You're making us use old technology just to make your job easier." "Does anyone else think that?" "No." "No." "No." "The old technology works fine." "New technology is too buggy." "What was that?!!" "It's just something we do."
Share February 23, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: Does anyone have an objection to this plan? Coworker: In my opinion, there are too many potential problems. Dilbert: This system has been used for years in other places and works fine. Coworker: There is still a non-zero chance of problems. Dilbert: By that logic, we should get rid of hospitals because sometimes they make mistakes. Coworker: Gaaa!!! I just realized I'm an idiot! Dilbert: You can still lead a normal life. Wally: It only stings for a minute.
Share September 22, 1998's comic on:
Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director Catbert stands on the top of a chair talking to the boss. Catbert says, "You can improve an employee's performance by making him feel bad about himself." The Boss says, "So, although that wouldn't work on me, it works fine on other people?" Catbert says, "Exactly." The boss stands behind Dilbert and reads from a piece of paper. The Boss says, "I'll read your faults one at a time. Tell me when your performance improves."
Share April 05, 2002's comic on:
Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert says into his telephone headset, "It works fine on my machine." On the other end of the line, the customer says, "Yes, but this call is about MY PC. May we talk about MY problem now?" Dogbert replies, "Okay, your PC is defective and you're selfish. That's an attractive package you've got going there."
Share August 15, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Wow, the guy who wrote this doesn't have a clue how software works. Man: When you talk about people behind their backs, it makes me wonder what you say about me. Alice: I think we just solved that mystery. Dilbert: You should wear noisier shoes.
Share September 28, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Wise garbage man, tell me why Powerpoint slides are so boring. Garbageman: Powerpoint is a lot like garbage. It's only delicious in small doses. Too much can kill you. Dilbert: That analogy only works for flies. Garbageman: Oooh. Look who thinks she's better than flies.
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Share March 14, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. The announcer says, "A new study shows that sitting on a pillow and watching television . . ." The announcer continues, "Can lower your standards . . ." The announcer continues, "Stay tuned for an encore presentation of 'Celebrity Burping.'" Dogbert thinks, "I guess it all works out."
Share May 17, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "I'll get us some sodas, Ratbert." Dogbert says as he walks away, "Feel free to gnaw on some high voltage wires, or whatever rats do, until I return." Dogbert returns with the cans of soda. Ratbert looks burned and smoke rises from his body. Ratbert says, "I don't know why we do that, but it sure works up a thirst."
Share January 10, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "Let's go around the table and give an update on each of our projects." Man: "My project is a pathetic series of poorly planned, near-random acts. My life is a tragedy of emotional desperation." The boss: "It's more or less customary to say things are going fine." Man: "I think I need a hug."