Search Results for "workspace"
Share March 12, 2010's comic on:
Wally says, "I couldn't work this week because my workspace has bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I know Feng Shui is a real thing because our CEO hired a Feng Shui consultant to design his office." Wally says, "Do you agree, or are you saying that our CEO is a superstitious simpleton?"
Share May 31, 2011's comic on:
Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.
Share June 19, 1994's comic on:
"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."
Share May 01, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is whistling while getting ready to go home. Cation reads: "A happy Dilbert prepares to go home after a long day in the cubicle." Dilbert's boss enters the cubicle. Caption reads: "Too late. The six o'clock horror is upon him!" Dilbert, taken by surprise, screams, "GAAA!" Caption reads: "In your workspace no one can hear you scream." Asok and Wally are leaving. Asok turns to Wally and asks, "What was that?" Wally answers, "Just keep walking."
Share April 05, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert introduces the new coworker to Carol, "Carol, this is our new guy, Harry Middlepart." Harry extends his hand. Carol responds, "I don't approve of your hairstyle. I forbid you to be near my workspace." Carol holds out the phone and yells, "The seventies called. They want their hair back!!" Harry says to Dilbert as they walk away, "She's not good people."
Share May 07, 2005's comic on:
"A cubicle vacancy opened up, so I'll be moving out of here." "My attorney will contac you about dividing up our workspace property." "Next, can you proves that you have both eyebrows before you met my client?"
Share September 09, 2005's comic on:
Having two computers is a violation of the company's 5S rules of standardized workspace. "I need two computers to test my software. There's no way to do my job with one." "I have a compromise solution. Put this little red tag on one of them and tell me later if anything bad happens."
Share May 13, 2007's comic on:
I asked Disgruntled Doug to work on our pricing model. "The fate of the entire company rests in his tiny hands." "That reminds me: I gave your cubicle to an intern." "But don't worry. I have another workspace for you." "You can use this little cardboard box that the laser printer came in." "It's only temporary." "Until we can find you a larger cardboard box." "I have an urge to underestimate costs."
Share May 29, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.
Share June 02, 2017's comic on:
Boss: From now on, you must refer to your cubicle as a "modular workstation." The word "cubicle" is demeaning to the people who work in them. Dilbert: I feel so much better now. Boss: Good. I was hoping it would work quickly.