You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"The Weekly Wally Report is bristling with tales of success." "I gave worthless input to marketing because they weren't specific about what they wanted." "I missed Alice's project meeting because she never confirmed the location." "I gave harmful advice to the sales team because they rushed me." "I ignored my email for a week because you said to focus on priorities." "And I didn't submit my budget estimates because Asok never told me what format to ues." "How can you call any of that success??!!" "Well, I'd compare it to my written objectives, but you never gave me any."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2005's comic on:


Transcript

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I might appear to be a receptionist, but I'm actually a director of first impressions." "I might appear to be a salesman of printer cartridges, but I'm really the CEO of HP." "Carly?" "You look like a 57."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I might appear to be a receptionist, but I'm not." "Believe me, I know that. Companies generally put attractive people in those positions."<Br>"I don't like where this is heading." "I'll wait until she get's back. Yum-Yum."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2005's comic on:


Transcript

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." "It's working great."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Our differentiating value-added strategy is transformational change. "How was that? Does anyone feel different?" "My urge to hurl was increased a little bit." "That's what change feels like."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I asked the I.T. department to upgrade my computer. "They're coming here??!" "We must hide our non-standard equipment!" "Uh-oh." "So-o-o... this den of non-standardization must be your cubicle." "This non-standard printer is coming with me. And I don't remember that monitor on our list." "I must cleanse your cubicle of non-conformancce so the healing can begin." "Surely my upgraded computer will arrive soon." Months later "Abacus?" "Please shut up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I'm creating software that will help small investors pick stocks. "It combines past trends that are not indicative of the future with the user's hubris and ignorance." "Now all I need are testimonials from people whose results are not typical!" "So it works?"