"Maybe I should approach my personal life as if it were an engineering project."
"What is the mission of this project?"
"Find a girlfriend!"
"Good. Now consider the feasible alternatives."
"Never mind, let's move on."
"Now let's calculate your attractiveness ratio so we can narrow the field of girlfriend options."
"Let's see...your buying power narrows the choices to a woman who just got a face transplant from a baboon."
"Maybe it was an attractive baboon. I should call her."
"Somewhere between desire and engineering lies stupidity."