The Boss: "What? You have no accomplishments this month???"
"What did you do for the past three months?"
Dilbert: "Well, I spent much of that time correcting misconceptions that you gave to our customers."
"And I attended meetings with you to keep you from creating additional misconceptions."
"I spent a month working on an objective that you forgot to tell me didn't matter."
"I flew to the wrong city for a meeting because you confused Houston with Austin."
"And I upgraded your home computer so you wouldn't have to pay someone to do it."
"Allow me to paraphrase: Blah, blah, blah, you didn't accomplish anything."