The boss is trying to force Ted to resign (by giving him near-impossible working conditions) instead of sacking him. If he resigns then the company probably doesn't have to give him any severance pay, etc. It happened on a fairly wide scale in the NHS a couple of years ago.
Ted,
Always doomed
Always the butt
Always the goat
Why hasn't he gone postal?
Or hung himself?
Or quit?
Because
he is a little hand puppet.
a doomed hand puppet
a hand puppet with a fire cracker
up its ass