I think Wally's attitude to work can be a new SI unit - One Wally (unit of laziness) Scale will be 0 to 1, where 1 is totally avoiding work and 0 is work-a-holic :) My todays's Wally's value is 0.5 :))
In real life this coworker would eventually get fired because she's too angry and emotional for a professional environment. On the other hand, Wally would find some plausible lie to get of the hook again.
That plan could never work. Whenever Wally is by the coffee maker, he is busy performing his essential "coffee liquid quality testing" functions. He doesn't have time to charge his phone while doing that!
Maybe she should arrange to have a "Wally Only" charging station set up by the coffee maker. He certainly seems to spend enough time there. I can't wait to see what the NEXT conversation is that he will have a lot.