Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Tuesday January 17,
1995
Tags volume of work, quiet leadership, inspires us, promote, manager, work ethic, use documents, heat house, job offering, writing
Transcript
The Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of paper and says, "We've all noticed the volume of work you carry around. Your quiet leadership inspires us." The Boss continues, "I'd like to promote you to manager so you can imbue others with your work ethic." At home, Dilbert loads the paper into the furnace while Dogbert watches. Dogbert asks, "Does he know you use the documents to heat our house?" Dilbert replies, "No. And I asked him to put the job offer in writing."
Monday January 16,
1995
Tags paper burning stove, lower heating bills, useless documents, love your work, warm feeling
Transcript
Dilbert installs a stove while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "I'm installing a paper-burning stove to lower our heating bills." Dilbert says, "I'll fuel it with all the useless documents I get at work." At the office, the Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of papers and asks, "I've been noticing how much stuff you take home. You must love your work." Dilbert replies, "It gives me a warm feeling."
Sunday January 15,
1995
Tags avoid completing, do it right, does anything, fear of mistakes, higher quality, inspire, morale low, new philosophy, paralyzed, punish anybody, realize mistakes, value opinion, victims
Transcript
Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new philosophy is 'We do it right the first time.'" The Boss continues, "This will inspire you to higher quality because you'll realize mistakes are not tolerated." Dilbert says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Since mistakes are inevitable, wouldn't your philosophy


