Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags broke code, can't be measured, cut pay, depend on meeting, own darn fault, sales targets

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags judges were cruel, olympic competition, play, ratbert, scored a two, sofa, doves, rat on couch

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: A hush comes over the crowd. This would be Ratbert's most difficult dive. Dilbert: I give it a two. Ratbert: The judges were cruel but rather captured the hearts aof the audience , endorsements would follow.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unnatural, have girlfirend, star trek comaprison, falls in love, girl dies, shooting star, panic, weird, overthinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "It seems almost unnatural for me to have an actual girlfriend." LIZ: "Why?" Dilbert: "It's like when the captain on 'Star Trek' falls in love, and you know the woman will die in an unlikely accident." "Hey! We just saw our first shooting star!"