Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ammunition, automatic weapons, bazookas, citizens, conversation about guns, dog, gun ownership, no ammunition, right to own guns, rocket launchers, weapons of choice, charlton heston, animals

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"What's your position on gun ownership, Dogbert?" "I believe everybody should have the right to own guns." "What about automatic weapons?" "I'm all for them." "Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers, too." "I believe that all citizens should have the weapons of their choice." "However, I also believe that only I should have ammunition." "Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of you Goobers with anything more dangerous than string." "What about Charleton Heston?" "I'd keep the string away from him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bad luck, lottery tickets, fabulous wealth, delight, hedonistic, yesterdays date, old, expired, scam, scammer, cheater, rat, dog, animals

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"Value priced lottery tickets" Ratbert: "I am drawn by the allure of fabulous wealth and a life of hedonistic delight...one please." "This is dated yesterday." Dogbert: "Ooh, bad luck. Try again?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lottery tickets, sale, value, yesterdays lottery, half priced lottery, cheat, scam, dogbert, salesman, scammer, office dog, customer

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"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?