Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Wise Person Said

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Wise Person Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, wise, person, boil, stick, egg, advice, proverb, threat, overrate

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asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated

Time Stands Still

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Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, phone, search, time, bored, win, still

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dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Platinum Level Service

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Platinum Level Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, forecasting, future, predict, industry, blame, sell, upsell, platinum

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boss: i hired you to predict the future, of our industry, but everything you say makes me sad. dogbert: don't blame me. i only predict the future. i don't make the future. unless you buy my special platinum level service. boss: nice upsell.