Dogbert The Futurist
dogbert: i see two potential futures for you. in one future, your brakes fail and you drive off a cliff, dying instantly upon impact.
office worker: and in the other future?
dogbert: it's less instant.
boss: i hired a futurist to predict where our industry is headed.
dogbert: you don't need to be here. you might want to enjoy the time you have left.
office worker: what?
dogbert: for the rest of you, i see hard work with no rewards.
dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat.
dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences.
ted: i only eat figs.
dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.