Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, the boss, touchy-feely, department, rumors, flying, lizards, planet, business, zorbians, team, players

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks the Boss, "Do you have a minute?" The Boss sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's touchy-feely stuff." Dilbert asks, "What's going to happen to our department? The rumors are flying." The Boss asks, "What have you heard?" Dilbert replies, "Rumor has it that flying lizards from the planet Zorb will buy the company." Dilbert continues, "They plan to turn the employees into giant corn dogs on sticks." The Boss replies, "Don't worry about rumors. It's business as usual for now." Dilbert gulps and walks away. The Boss thinks, "I think I handled that pretty well." Dilbert and Wally have long sticks on their backs. Dilbert asks, "Are you sure this will impress the Zorbians?" Wally replies, "I hear they like team players."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, reading, sandblasting, soup, cracker, ratbert, hypnosis

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow reading a book titled "Hypnosis For World Conquest." Dogbert thinks, "Looks easy enough." Ratbert enters and says, "Hi, Dogbert! What are you reading?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. You will remember nothing." Ratbert holds his arms out like a zombie and asks, "Who am I? Where am I?" Dogbert thinks, "That was a little bit like sandblasting a soup cracker."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, the boss, employers, form, election, rescind, opposite, action, declining, reverse, inclination, discontinue, employment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a form and says, "All employees must fill out this form." Dilbert reads, "Employee election to not rescind the opposite action of declining the reverse inclination to not discontinue employment with the company." Dilbert asks, "You're trying to trick us into quitting, aren't you?" The Boss hands Dilbert a pen and says, "Use ink."