Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Elbonian Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, consultant, elbonia, people, local, problem, distribution, execute, opinion, barber

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Compilation Video

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Compilation Video  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, useful, video, co-workers, incompetent, comparision, meeting, compile

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: you think i didn't do anything useful this year. so i made a compilation video of my co-workers being incompetent in meetings for comparison. boss: at least they are trying. wally: as you can see, maybe they shouldn't.

Judging By Looks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, interview, manager, judge, offensive, social media, nonesense

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.