Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, elbonia, elbonians, erupted, civil, war, interview, weapons, taking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. A newscaster says, "The tiny nation of Elbonia erupted in civil war." In Elbonia, a television reporter holds a microphone toward two Elbonians and asks, "What caused you to turn your weapons on your own people?" One Elbonian asks, "Weapons? We can use weapons?" The other Elbonian puts his hands on his hips and says, "Well, no wonder it was taking so long."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, waiter, hair, soup, date, men and woman, served, integrity, analysis, comparison, tough, waiters, restaurant, own, lab, problems, hairy, food, clumps

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Waiter, there's a hair in my soup." The waiter says, "It looks like one of yours. I'm sure it wasn't there when I served it." Dilbert says angrily, "It is NOT one of mine!" The waiter replies, "Sir! You insult my integrity!" The waiter says, "I shall send the hair to our lab for analysis." Dilbert replies, "Fair enough." The waiter pulls out some of Dilbert's hair and says, "They'll need a clump of your hair for comparison." Dilbert cries, "Ouch!" Dilbert tells the woman, "You have to be tough with these waiters or else they'll walk all over you." The woman asks, "Does it seem odd to you that the restaurant has it's own lab?" Dilbert replies, "They must have a lot of problems with hairy food." The waiter returns and says, "The lab says they need a few more clumps of your hair . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, floyd, killed, wally, alice, first, aid, ambulance, firstaid, phone, ted

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Ted and Alice confront Dilbert. Alice says, "We heard you killed Floyd, our unbearable co-worker, yesterday." Dilbert replies, "No. I was there, but he choked on his own bile." Alice asks, "What did you do - perform First Aid? Call an ambulance?" Dilbert replies, "I don't know First Aid." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Can I use your phone?"