Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, doctor, whacks, knee, patient, crime, society, fault, raise, taxes, feed, poor, stop, nuclear, research, liberal, normal, life, annoying, parties

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, dilbert, doctor, suck, doctors, needles, practically, careers, opportunity, stapler

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a doctor." Dogbert continues, "People have to suck up to doctors, otherwise they stick big needles into your body for practically no reason at all." Dogbert continues, "A lot of careers don't offer that kind of opportunity." Dilbert replies, "Yeah, it's not the same with a stapler."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, wally, collecting, money, mary, birthday, gift, levels, engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman tells Dilbert and Wally, "I'm collecting money for Mary's birthday gift." Dilbert asks, "How much do you want?" She replies, "Oh, it's totally up to you." The woman continues, "However, the usual accepted levels are, in effect . . ." She continues, "Ten dollars from her boss and anybody else who thinks it would improve his odds of becoming romantically involved with her." The woman continues, "Five dollars from male co-workers who feel their manhood would be threatened by a smaller gift . . ." She continues, "One dollar if you're a secretary or if nobody is watching . . ." The woman concludes, "Or you can just ruffle the money already in the envelope and act like you gave five." Dilbert says, "Let's say you fall into more than one of those categories . . ." Wally ruffles the money in the envelope. The woman thinks, "Engineers."