Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Saturday September 26,
1992
Tags dogbert, photo, proof, completed, hit-man, contract, dilbert, sitting, lifeless, stuffed, chair, looks, watching, technically, kill, prove, life
Transcript
Dogbert hands a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "Here is photo proof that I completed my hit-man contract on Dilbert." The man replies, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Here he is, sitting lifeless in his stuffed chair." The man looks at the picture and says, "It looks like he's just watching television." Dogbert says, "Technically, my contract doesn't say I must kill him. It says I must 'prove he has no life.'"
Friday September 25,
1992
Tags dilbert, looking, hit, man, eliminate, inventor, million, dollars, deliver, head, platter, tupperware, lettuce, crispers, loses, drama
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from a man behind a desk. Dogbert says, "I heard you're looking for a hit man to eliminate an inventor named Dilbert." Dogbert continues, "For a million dollars I can deliver his head on a platter." The man asks, "Does it have to be on a platter?" Dogbert replies, "I've tried using those Tupperware lettuce crispers, but it loses a lot of the drama."
Thursday September 24,
1992
Tags dilbert, received, death, threats, patent, augmented, security, system, sidewalk, rigged, electric, shock, disarming, intruder, catapult, landfill, mail
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've received death threats because of my new patent. So I augmented our home security system." Dilbert continues, "The sidewalk is rigged to give an electric shock, thus disarming the intruder. Then a spring catapults him to the city landfill." Outside, someone screams. Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window and see several envelopes falling onto the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "The mail is here."

