Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, lesson, presentation, males, women, act, phony, woman, subjected, empathy, conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at the front of the room and says, "Today's lesson is just for men . . . Lights please." Dogbert shows a slide that says, "Acting sensitive even when you're not." Dogbert says, "As males, we know that women can only tolerate us when we act phony." Dogbert continues, "This is what happens when a woman is subjected to honest male opinions." The slide shows a woman screaming. Dogbert continues, "Fortunately, even the most ridiculous lies can sound sensitive." The slide shows a man saying, "Nice hairdo." Dogbert continues, "And new research shows that women want EMPATHY in conversation, not male suggestions." Dogbert continues, "This discovery frees you to think about other things while they talk." Dogbert advances the slide projector. The slide shows a man saying to a woman, "Ooh . . . How sad," while he thinks, "Sports." Dogbert asks, "Questions?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, men and women, armed, stunned, bunny, romantic, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says to another woman, "I don't know what we can do to meet more men." Dilbert walks up to the women and says, "Hi, my name is Dilbert." The woman says, "Get lost . . . I'm armed." As Dilbert walks away looking shocked, the woman says, "And the men we do meet all have that same stunned bunny look."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, dogbert, violent, movies, lab, animal behavior, parents, studying, inured, violence, gnaw

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on a stone wall. Ratbert says, "All week I've been watching violent movies at the lab." Ratbert continues, "A group of parents are studying me to see if I become inured to violence." Dogbert asks, "Are you?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah. I'm planning to gnaw the parents to death tomorrow."