Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Tuesday February 04,
2020
Marketing Complains
Tags business, managers & supervisors, marketing, complain, moronic, fired
Transcript
boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.
Monday February 03,
2020
Dilbert Organizes The Lab
Tags sarcasm, business, tech, lab, reorganize, co-workers, grateful
Transcript
dilbert: this week i reorganized the tech lab from top to bottom. dogbert: were your co-workers grateful? dilbert: yes, assuming they show it by rummaging through the wrong drawers and cursing.
Sunday February 02,
2020
Knowing What Wally Does
Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, job, projects, expectations, heuristics
Transcript
boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.


