Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, solutions, problems, worthless, sarcasm, example

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boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.

Alice Would Complain

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Alice Would Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complain, managers & supervisors, assignment, business, technology, problem, solve

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boss: i was going to give this assignment to alice, but i know she would complain about it. dilbert reading paper: i don't want it either. boss: do you plan to complain about it later? dilbert: not to your face. boss: problem solved.

Mind Reader

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Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, plan, sabotage, mind reader, success, apology

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dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.