Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, name, deserve, wrong, world, created, ruebert, robot, spell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a robot sit at the table. Dogbert says, "We need a name for you." The robot replies, "I don't deserve a name." The robot continues, "Everything that's wrong with the world is my fault. I rue the day I was created." Dogbert says, "I name you 'Ruebert.'" The robot replies, "Aaagh! People will spell it wrong and it's my fault!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags plastic, surgery, decision, nobody, toucan sam, cafeteria, intern, janet, lips, puffed, tethered, snorted

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman with a huge nose tells Dilbert and Wally, "I've decided to have plastic surgery." Dilbert replies, "Frankly, I think it's the right decision." Dilbert continues, "Maybe then nobody will call you 'Toucan Sam' behind your back in the cafeteria every day." Wally says, "Ooh, and remember when the summer intern left?" Wally continues, "The joke was 'Maybe Janet accidentally snorted him up her nose.'" Janet says, "Actually, I'm only going to have my lips puffed." Wally whispers, "I hope the nurses are tethered down." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and a bandage on his head. He tells Dogbert, "I got off easy . . . Poor Norman got snorted."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, heart, attacks, eating, cows, california, drought, fault, water, subsidies, global warming, earth, organized

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a robot sit outdoors. The robot says, "I worry . . . Is it my fault that people get heart attacks?" Dogbert replies, "No . . . That's from eating too many cows." The robot asks, "Is the California drought my fault?" Dogbert answers, "No . . . That's from water subsidies to cows." The robot asks, "Global warming?" Dogbert replies, "Cows again." The robot asks, "Cows are destroying the earth?" Dogbert says, "They're better organized than you'd think."