Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, suggestions, report, ridiculous, spit, woman, carol, assistant, violent

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Dilbert tells a woman, "Carol, If you have any suggestions on my report, let me know." Carol looks at the document and asks, "What kind of ridiculous tripe are you pushing??" Carol says, "I spit on your report!" Carol lights a match and says, "I should burn it to ashes, but I won't . . ." Carol cries, "Because I'd rather dance on your grave after people read this!" She laughs. Carol throws the document at Dilbert and says, "Crawl back into your hole, you fly-infested bucket of dead carp!!" Dilbert walks away as Carol shouts, "Die! Die! Die!" Dilbert tells Wally, "Next time I'm just gonna say 'Carol, make some copies.'" Wally says, "The secretaries here have way too much power."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, singing, square-dancing, bluff, slap, checks, write, strangers, spouse

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Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone and saying, "Swing your partner, dosey-do. Now clap your hands . . ." On the dance floor, people are square dancing. Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know . . . I'll bluff the rest." Dogbert says, "Slap your partner in the face, / Write bad checks all over the place, / Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, / Get a divorce and lose your house . . . Uh . . . dosey-do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags skeptical, hiring, dog, square-dance, resume, impressive, pulitzer

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Dogbert sits across from a man at a desk. The man, who is wearing a plaid shirt and a cowboy hat, says, "I was skeptical about hiring a dog as our new square-dance caller, but your resume is impressive." The man continues, "I didn't even know you could win a Pulitzer Prize for square-dance calling." The man continues, "Wow! And you're already in the Alberdeen Hall of Dung!"